Thursday, May 31, 2007

love myself...

Well, I think it's about time for me to look after myself? I mean my health (am I healthy?), my personality (do I look good, not only to the eyes of my boyfriend), my well-being, my quality of life my satisfaction, my delight, my spirit. All of that, which I think I've neglected due to this fucking work-for-a-living dilemma.

I'm feeling pains all over my body, I want to see a doctor to answer tons of questions circling in my mind. I feel pain at my back bone and my nape's often killing me when I get up from bed in the morning. My face's sagging. I have big, dark eye bags that making me look like Morticia of Adam's family and pimples. Argh. Hate it. Pft. get over from these unpleasant things. I should:

  1. stop smoking (and I just started now)
  2. eat right (avoid skipping meals)
  3. drink milk (I already bought 1 box of Anlene milk)
  4. sleep early, sleep 8 hours a day.
  5. exercise
  6. maintain my facial rituals
  7. To enrich my well-being, i should give quality time to myself. I missed watching movies at home.
  8. and to make my soul, body and mind complete... always attend the Sunday mass and spare some time reading passages from the Bible.
Hmn. Hope I can do all of these.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


I have no interest of what you are going to get to satisfy your contentment in your own fucking business. It will not give me richness nor protection to my welfare. I'm happy with what I'm getting and trying to be contented of what life brings to me. I will not sacrifice my dignity in exchange to your fucking cents. So please, DON'T DRAG ME TO YOUR greediness.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Love? Think I got one.

8 months of passion without ecstatic shags!

Yeah, it's the 8th month since I got someone who dragged me to blissfulness, showed me the true meaning of life, offered his unconditional love and unaccountable sacrifices. Am I not thankful for that one? You can take everything from me but I will shed blood on my hands if you took the love I'm taking care of away from me.

I cannot say we're perfect as we have flaws in our relationship. We argue over petty things. Lies (specially on my side :D) are not new to us just to protect the tie. Good thing is, we never let every single fight pass the day without making up and apologizing to one another. We keep secrets to one another as we respect one's opinion as long as it doesn't affect the good flow of the relationship. We believe in each other. We trust each other and as might be expected, we love each other.

Good thing I got love and I'll work to make it last.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Dig it!

My mind's crammed with thinkings dissembling my self-esteem. I feel numb. I'm immune to the system. My mind's no longer functioning. What will be the next move? Will I continue to contend my opinions, suggestions, beliefs? I once felt lost but there's someone beside me that's keep on holding me up. "Don't think that you're alone. You're fight is my fight. Be with me and trust in Him". I lay everything in Him. "Dear Lord, You built this body and You're the only One who can bring it down. I trust my life in you".

He freed me with tangled thinkings. I opened my mind as well as my heart. I set my mind. You can't always get what you want. Yeah, right! Last day I came across with a colleague's blog and read her post which I can relate, that's why this song's always playing to my music player.

And I went down to the demonstration

To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"

Sing it to me now...

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes
well you just might find

You get what you need

You can't always get what you want even if you tried hard. I once proven it. I grew up in a belief that I can always get what I want. I worked with it. I played with it. I lived with it. But it vanished. It's like there's a small voice whispering at the back of my ear, "hey wake up! accept it! live with it! face the reality!" Even you sacrifice your own happiness, security and dignity. There's always a fight that you never win nor lose but you acquired something that will help you in a living and you will start to move on.

And now, I'm dealing with it but I will no longer let my happiness devour. Think smart and move fast.

And so much of that. While we were surfing with the vintage Nintendo games last night coz me and the boyfriend had a deal with the title of the old Nintendo game that can have 100 lives by pressing the combination of the controls, I came up with this lingeries that's pretty hot. Check it out!

Guys, if you ever find a girl wearing this, marry her!

Monday, May 14, 2007

I miss my Daddy

When I heard this shot me to the heart. I really miss my Daddy. How I wish he's here, caring us, comforting us, LECTURING me and loving us. Ho-hum...

I remember

When you used to take me on a bike ride every day on the bayou
(Remember that? We were inseparable?)
And I remember when you could do no wrong
You come home from work
And I jump in your arms when I saw you
(I was so excited)
I was so happy
(So happy to see you so happy to see you)
To see you

Because you loved me
I overcome
And I'm so proud of what you've become
You've given me such security
No matter what mistakes I make you're there for me
You cure my disappointments and u heal my pain
You understood my biz and you protected me
I treasure every year in place a comemory
And thats why I want my unborn son
To be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
There is no one else like my daddy
And I thank you for lovin me
(daddy daddy daddy)

I still remember the expression your face when you found out
I'd been on a date and had a boyfriend
(my first boyfriend, you shoulda seen your face)
I still remember I called you cryin
cuz of my tattoo coulda said "Beyonc I told Ya"
So instead you said you'd get one too
(You and my momma said yall'd get one just like mine)
Words cant express my boundless gratitude for you
I appreciate what you do oh
You've given me tight security
No matter what mistakes I know you're there for me
Cute my disappointments and heal my pain
You understood by biz and you protected me
I treasure every extraordinary memory
that's why

I want my unborn son
To be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
There is no one else like my daddy
And I thank you (thank you) for lovin me

Even if a man broke my heart today
No matter how much pain I'm in I would be ok
Cuz I got a man in my life that can't be replaced
His love is unconditional
It won't go away
And I know I'm lucky (lucky)
Know it aint easy
Men? who take care of their responsibilities
Love is overwhelming
Stop a tear from falling
I love you so much daddy

Thank you
You've done so much for me
I love you,

I'm so emotional daddy
Every time I think of you
I get emotional daddy
Every time I think of you
There is no one else like my daddy
No one will replace my daddy
Daddy daddy daddy daddy

I really miss you Daddy.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Puerto Invasion

As a reward to ourselves from those long tiring days of work, me and the boyfriend pushed to Puerto Galera, Oriental Mindoro. Weeee. Pity to say but that was our first time to be at the place. We didn't even have any idea how to get there. Poor, innocent fellas. Hehe. I took charge of organizing the journey. I browsed the WWW to look for potential hotels, resorts, and whatever you may call it. Fortunately, I found this Blue Crystal Beach Resort which I guessed was a cool and relaxing place to spend the holiday.

We left the city in a bus at around 7AM bound to Batangas Pier. We brought all necessary thingy like medicines, alcohol, sunblock, music players, digital cameras, water and prepared our food for the long trip. We brought sandwiches with us which we both prepared at their house the night before we left.

After two and half hours we had our feet at the port of Batangas City and we looked like dumbass peasants storming at the entryway of the piled ticket booths. We bought the tickets costing us PHP 360. Fuck the lady at the booth giving us the wrong gate number. We fought the big crowd at Gate 3 just to get to the boarding area when the guard barked on us that the tickets we're holding are for Gate 2. Fuck! I almost lost my arms just to get outside.

That was my first time to ride in a ferry boat and I cursed boarding on it. The improvised platform scared me, I was shaking as I climbed onto it.

We were a bit disappointed when we reached the beach resort. The place's too quiet, peaceful as it was. No white sand, no ladies in two-piece's, the food were so expensive, no banging sound of stereos from bars, no LIFE! Pfft. But the amenities they offered were convincing and paid the price. The suite we got have fridge, aircon, kitchen, vault, tub, TV, comfy bed and cabinets. Not bad.

We just wandered around and feel the soothing place.

The next morning, after breakfast, we went to White Beach and rent a tricycle for PHP 400 back and forth. We had no choice but to bite it kesa naman tumunganga kami maghapon sa suite. Anyhow, we enjoy the ride. The roads were elevated stiff and rocky. Para kaming nasa roller coaster. Hehe.

At the beach, we were eyeing for sexy, voluptuous ladies in bikinis but guess we're expecting too much. Haha. Only one american gal captured the attention of the mass and she suddenly wrapped her body with a towel when she felt the lustful eyes around her, including me. Wahehe.

We wanted to try the banana boat but when these words spilled out from one of the crews ("Okay lang ma'am kahit di kayo marunong lumangoy. May life vest naman po. Kahit una ulo nyo sa tubig, aangat pa din kayo") Watda! No, thanks! But we will surely try it when we go back next year or maybe to Bora. Hehe.

I was so stupid. I didn't bring extra money coz I was relying on ATM. All I know ATMs are accessible everywhere. Ang tanga ko. Nasa probinysa pala kami. At di lang probinsya. Probinsyang probinsya. There's only one ATM in one rural bank at the town and unfortunately it has no power. Argh. So we went really budget that time. No henna, no souvenirs, no lunch. Haha!

And when we reckoned all our expenses and the money left from the boyfriend's wallet, a thousand bill will be left. Hooray! We can order what we want for dinner. Hehe. We filled our tummy with siszzling beef tenderloin steak.

And at our last day, I spoke to the gals at the next door and found out that they were also looking for ATM the other day. They paid the tricycle PHP 1000 just to get to Katiklan. Ang mahal grabe! They also went to White Beach and saw us. And they only came accross of that resort in the internet. Wekwek.

Anyhow, we came back home safe with the memories of that place kept in us.