Same Script, Different Cast

Font color coding:
Present girl.
Girl from the past.
Together.

I know he's leaving me for you
Who said that, who told you
That is true
What is he telling you
Could it be the same things that he told me

He told me that he loved me
(I heard that)
he told me I was beautiful
how did you know, how did you know
cause I played the scene before

CHORUS
This is a retake of my life
I was his star for many nights
Now the roles have changed
And you're the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera, now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now, cause it won't last
Same script, different cast

What you're saying could be true
But how can I take advice from you
I'm not hating
But I wish the one before me
Would have warned me too

Don't say no more (lalalala)
Uncover your ears girl
I'm not listening (lalalala)
But I know you hear me
Maybe my reasons are wrong
But I know that you believe me

CHORUS
It's your fault you didn't love him enough
That's the problem
I loved him too much
And when you love him
He becomes unattracted to you

Oh no, he's changed and I'll prove you wrong
So go away, leave us the hell alone
He loves me (he'll hurt you)
He'll stay with me (he'll leave you)
For sure, for sure

CHORUS
This is a retake of my life (of your life)
I was his star for many nights
Now the roles have changed
And you're the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now (just watch us now)
Cause it won't last (I know it will last)
Same script, different cast

This is a retake of your life
You were his star for many nights
But now the roles have changed
I'm the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now, cause this will last
I'm his future, you're his past


This song just reminds me of the battle I've been before.

weekend...

It’s quite a long time I’ve not spend weekend at my boarding house (San Andres, Bukid) and last Saturday when I went to the office, I didn’t pack my things, didn’t bring a huge bag and didn’t bother to collect my dirty clothes and bring to the laundry. When I woke up, I just donned a simple shirt which I paired to a blue jeans, wore a pair of slippers and held my everyday bag.

That day, I and my old college friends met.

I went back to the boarding house early around 3 PM to meet Paul who’s near to blow to madness for waiting. I talked to him, explained the reason why I was late and one-by-one spoke to him the time of coming of others. (Because I was only the arranger, organizer and planner of our gathering!) After a few minutes, Jovel came in new jeans, shirt, shoes and accessories with blue contact lenses. O di ba ang taray?! And Vale, the lady who never stopped asking if we will still go, keep on texting me, where’s Russ? Is Jovel already there? Are we really going to meet? Blah blah blah. We fetched her at 7-eleven near our place. Then finally, Russell arrived with deranged hair.

We ordered pizza for dinner and watched Christina Aguilera’s “Stripped” concert. After few minutes of resting we headed to Library, Malate.

I never stop laughing that night. The gay and gal hosts were hilarious. Some of their punchlines:

Gal: Di man ako kasing ganda ng Nanay mo, kasing sexy ng Ate mo, malay mo isa ako sa pinatuwad ng Tatay mo.

Gay: Di man ako kasing ganda ng Nanay mo, kasing sexy ng Ate mo, malay mo ako ang Tatay mo.

The primetime host was Teri Onor. He’s so funny and in fairness he has a voice. We went home almost 2AM. We should have finished the show but I can’t stop my eyes from shutting so I demanded to go home.

Jovel slept over at my room. FYI, he’s a gay. He left around 8AM to catch a friend. I woke up around 11 AM, grabbed a snack and started collecting my used clothes for washing. Haayz. Wait. I first cleaned my room before washing. Hehe.

After I finished my chores, Alben came. We just watched nonsense programs on TV (Because my TV only have 4 channels) and after an hour he left to play for 6 o’ clock mass at Sta. Ana church.

I was already in pajama when, surprisingly, he came back after the mass because, yes, I know, he misses me. Hahaha! I don’t know what’s with him why he coaxed me to go outside to buy ice cream and carbs.

We watched the movie “In Her Shoes” by Cameron Diaz, Toni Collete and Shirley McLaine. We liked the story. It’s a story of two sisters who share nothing in common - other than the same shoe size - who eventually learned the meaning of family and the bonds of sisterhood.

Cameron Diaz stars as Maggie, the bad seed.

She’s the daughter who cheated and stole and generally made you embarrassed to claim her as part of the family. Her beautiful body, combined with her ability to turn on the charm as needed, gets her through life. Sleeping with anything attractive to get a free meal or drinks, Maggie’s aimless and wanders through life knowing she can always fall back on her hard-working, dependable sister.

Toni Collette plays Rose, the sister who holds down a well paying job, can be counted on to do the right thing, and has a penchant for buying beautiful shoes she knows she’ll never wear. The only mark against her is that she’s carrying on a torrid affair with her boss.

When Maggie’s kicked out of their father’s house (their stepmother’s a real harpy who doesn’t care for either daughter), Rose allows her to stay at her place until she can get on her feet. But getting on her feet isn’t easy for Maggie. Her dyslexia makes her lose out on a gig at MTV. She tries to be good by getting a job helping to take care of animals but soon fails at even that simple task. She borrows Rose’s car and gets it towed away. Nothing seems to work for Maggie other than using her looks to procure favors from men. When she impulsively decides to sleep with Rose’s boyfriend, that act proves to be too much for even Rose to forgive.

After being booted out of Rose’s place, Maggie heads to her dad’s in search of money and maybe a place to stay temporarily. Rifling through his drawers, Maggie discovers letters from her deceased mother’s mother. The girls’ mom suffered from a mental illness and was killed in an auto accident when they were just kids. Since that time, they haven’t had any contact with their mother’s family. Both sisters believe their grandmother is dead so it’s a real shock to Maggie to learn she’s alive and well and living in a retirement community in Florida. With nowhere else to go, Maggie goes off to confront the grandmother she just discovered is still around.

Pushed and shoved by her grandmother into standing on her own two feet, Maggie begins to blossom into a self-assured woman who doesn’t need anyone around to lean on. Meanwhile, Rose also reassesses her life and falls in love with a good, decent man (Mark Feuerstein). Yet hanging over both women is the horrible tear in their relationship that needs mending.

It’s a great movie that will make you laugh, cry and realize the value of family. You should’ve watched it!

And if by any chance you’re watching video in YouTube, Google Video or iFilm and thought of having that video in your PC. Here’s the answer man.

Install this VideoDownloader Firefox Extension to your PC then restart your Firefox. Then follow the instructions in how to download a video from YouTube, Google Video or iFilm. In downloading, you need to change or add extension flv to the video in order to visualize it in FLV player but for some unknown reason you want to convert it to other video format. Here’s CinemaForge, the easier shareware software in converting videos to SWF, AVI, MPEG, FLV, MOV, RM, WMV formats.

That’s it.

If you’re feelin’ lazy, don’t hesitate to ask for my assistance.

Bad trip man!

Ilang araw ng walang internet dito sa office. Pakshet! Di ka makapagtrabaho ng maayos at di ko ma-update tong blog ko! Yun yun e.

Aside from our internet that's acting weird for the past days we celebrated our 4th monthsary yesterday that sucked because of my selfishness. I was not in the mood yesterday. Morning pa lang nabad trip na kagad ako. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Maybe because of my period. Or I was that bitchy. You can't imagine a couple working under one roof and fighting silently. Lufet noh?! You're all not aware that we're fighting or only few can notice. It works as simple as this. We will just discharge our feelings on messenger. Sabihin mo na lahat ng gusto mong sabihin through YM. Sorry ka na lang kung masama dating sa isa. Ganun! May isang lalapit pag di na carry. And most likely si lalake yun. Matigas kasi si babae e. Hehe. He will just pull me from my chair and drag me outside. We will find a place where we could talk. In that case, makakapag-usap ng maayos then okay na ulit. Mahal na ulit namin ang isa't-isa. Wahehe. Parang mga luko noh?

Anyway, last night, thank God we separated in good condition. I went home alone and he stayed here in the office to wait for his colleagues. They played basketball. I was supposed to go with them but I felt lazy. I can't pull a leg. I bought food and watched TV at home, alone. I watched RUMOR HAS IT by Jennifer Aniston, Mark Ruffalo and Kevin Costner. Potek and gwapo ni Kevin. Kahit matanda na, delicious pa rin. At empre, ang pinagpapantasyahan kong si Mark Ruffalo. Ang cute cute nya kasi at parang napaka-gentleman pa. At isa pang pinagpapantasyahan ko sa mga kababaihan sa hollywood. Jennifer Aniston. Her supahot body and innocent-like face. Rawr!

I missed him while watching it so I texted him sweet messages. Naginarte ako sa text. "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you and ruined our special day. Hope you don't give up on me. Just always bear this in mind, I love you, I care for you and I will never leave you." Ampotah! Ganun kasi ako pag nakakanood ng mga love stories. Nadadala ako masyado kaya nagbabagong anyo ako. Haha!

Syasya. Gabi na! Uwian na.

wag nga kayong shet!

If you can't like me, so am I to you. I can't force you to love neither like me and if you don't feel like talking to me. Would you care enough to get out of my sight and throw your fucking ass to where it belong? Or you want me to do a favor and kick it to wherever it supposed to be placed. Wag nga kayong shet! You don't need to pretend. You don't even need to be nice to me. Don't push yourself honey. Be yourself!

If I wronged you...and apologized to you...don't play God and act like I ruined your life. Wake up man! We're not perfect. Even you. You did errors, mistakes and brought problems to your neighbors and in good faith have been forgiven. So please learn how to forgive, be true and move on. Live our lives peacefully and restore everything we lost.

Jezaz!

what now?

I really enjoy every minute of work here in my new working area. Specially this kind of day, Saturday! I have no more fear if there's someone sneaking behind me and viewing my monitor. Specially the big boss. In my previous location, I was facing backward the door. Everytime the big boss enter the room looking for me while yelling my name. I don't even bother to turn around and face him because I'm wearing my headphones with music playing in maximum volume. Either my seatmate will poke me or message me saying "the boss is calling you". Now, I'm facing on the passage and they can no longer see what I'm doing. Brilliant! Hehe.

Last Thursday (January 18th), Alben and I went to SM Megamall to meet his family for a dinner. The time was set at 6:30 PM and the venue was in Dad's restaurant inside SM Megamall.

We need to rush our work to get there on time. He gave me the time of our leaving. By 6PM we should be hunting a cab outside the building. But of all the time, unexpected problem came. The FTP was acting weird. I cannot connect to any sites. Damned FTP! I uninstalled it and installed again. When I was doing that, I was surprised when Alben showed up ready to go. He's face looked worried. Shit! I hastily input all the FTP sites needed and faced him. We hurriedly went down the building and looked for a cab. Luckily we found one quickly. I thought we're already safe but the heavy traffic added pain in our heads. After 40 minutes we finally arrived at the mall.

We almost run to get to the venue. When we were spotting them from the outside of the restaurant, I heard his Mommy's voice calling near our back with his Daddy and Ate. There they are. I thought we were the most late. While resting our feet on the free seats Mommy eyed, Kuya came along with his girlfriend Abby. Then after several minutes, his Aunts and Uncles came. He introduce me to his Aunts and Uncles. Auntie Nene (who came from Spain) gave me a soft peck on my right cheek. Heee. I felt awkward. Di ako sanay ha! His Dad broached me their youngest and told me their number. I was surprised when I knew that he was the oldest. I joked him, "Di po halata ha!". Hoooo. Feeling close ba? Hehe.

Then we entered the restaurant. My eyes grew wide when I saw the volume of food spread on tables. When we were settled on joint tables, we directed immediately to the buffet. Yee haw! Eat all you can to! I only picked foods that I think will fit in my stomach. But I was wrong. I didn't finish everything on my plate. Ate kid me, "Ubusin mo yan. Lagot ka. Babayaran mo yan ng doble." Waaah! I can no longer take it. I put everything on Alben's plate and petrified him. "Ubusin mo yan ha. Malalagot ka." Bwahaha! After he finished all the main dish. We went back for dessert. We scooped ice creams and sliced cakes. Hehe.

When our stomach were all full. My fucking head ached. From my back neck upto my top head. Huhuhu. I felt dizzy and felt I was about to throw everything I put in my stomach. Alben looked for a drugstore and bought medicine and bottled water. He accompanied me 'til I caught a jeep to our house. He was supposed to bring me home but I dissuaded him. He has work to do and need to get back to the office.

At home, I just rest my head and slept early.

Yesterday, I saw my dentist because I'm feeling pain at my lower left teeth. I thought it was one of my molars with pasta that is aching but my dentist told me that the cause of pain is coming from my lower left tooth with its root slightly exposed. What was the cause? Excessive and hard brushing. The gums drooped down exposing the roots of my teeth. She let me saw my lower front gums that look like curtains due to hard up and down brushing. Ho-hum. Ang sagwa tingnan.

Doktora advised me to use Sensodyne and Pyodontyl for my gums.

That's for today. Babush!

I moved!

Yes, I finally moved to more convenient, peaceful and bigger working area and as of now I'm enjoying working here. Free from noise and I have privacy but they're passing me by. And every passers notices me. With this charming face. Wadahek!

I checked my friendster and this is what my Horoscope says:

"Stop fighting against things you can't fix. Accept things as they are and smile."

I just took a big sigh. I should learn how to accept things the way they are. Never complain, question and most of all EXPECT. I will just hurt myself if I will not stop fighting against things that I know, myself, can never be fix.

Hoooooooo. Enough for the drama.

Time to pack and get out of here. I lovah my new working area. Heehee.

He's my man!

They said he's man of no promises.
He's no good to me.
He will just hurt me.
He once break my heart and can do it again.
He never stand by my side and left me hanging.
He doesn't know how to touch a girl's heart.
He's just playing game and he'll never love me.

But what they don't know is how he makes me feel.
No matter what they say against him, I ain't go nowhere.
I will stay by his side.
By his loving arms.
No matter what they think about him,
I will always be there for him 'coz he's my man and I find love in him.
The love that we share lives inside of me.
The love that I never felt before.

No matter what I hear is all in the past.
Everything that matters is what we're feelin'.
And this feeling will never last.
The heart of his soul breeds inside of me.

'Coz my man, makes me feel so special.
He makes me feel so precious.
He makes me feel wonderful.
He makes me feel beautiful.
With him, I feel so comfortable.
He's nobody but he's my man.

I LOVE MY MAN.

restful weekend...

I shouldn't say restful because I went to 168 Mall alone last Saturday. Ben forbid me to go out because we planned to take a rest the whole weekend. And because I'm a stubborn. I went out by myself. Paul and I should go together but he felt lazy and refused to come. On the other side, it's for his own good. He lacked sleep and need a good rest. I should really not go that day and I set my mind to go home early and buy DVD movies and popcorn but an evil idea came up to my mind and changed my direction. I took an FX going Divisoria.

The place was not so crowded compared last Christmas. People don't have anymore money for shopping! What's left with them are their gigantic debts!!! Thank God I don't have one. Well, I just bought blouses, skirt, leggings, accessories, belts and shoes. Hehe. Wala na ako masuot e. Bat bah?

After dragging tons of kikay stuff, I decided to went home. I bought 3 DVD movies. Borat, Another Gay Movie and a collection of 8 Tagalog Movies. That was the first time I bought Tagalog movies. I never bought Tagalog movies because (1) the copies are taken from movie theaters (blurred, dimmed and unaudible) (2)most of the stories suck (3)the production is cost-cut (4) and most of the stories are copied from foreign movies. Pffft. We watched Borat and that movie is hilariously crazy. There is no man in this planet that will act that weird. He's insane aside from the fact that he's a media man from his country Kazakhstan. He's an educated man from his country but he acts like a moron in US. Anyhow, he made me laugh.

Sunday? Hmn. I woke up 9 AM. Ate my breakfast. Watched Manay Po, the first movie we watched from the 8 Tagalog movies in 1 CD I bought. Sleep. Woke at at 4PM. Took a bath and went to church.

Before going back home, me and my Sis bought lechon manok for our dinner. Guess what? We're only three but we finished the whole chicken. Haha! Di naman kami gutom e noh? Hehe. After that we watched Inang Yaya and sleep. Hehe.

camera trip...

Walang magawa kagabi kaya pinagtripan namin sarili namin. Pag labas pa lang ng pinto ng office, labas na kagad ng camera at pose kagad si Bentot. Haha! The shirt he was wearing yesterday is his best shirt. And because I gave it to him. Haha! Kaya sinamantala nya ang pagkakataon at nagpakuha ng nagpakuha ang mokong. Walang flash yung camera ng Mp4 ko so pics would be blurred and dimmed. We need a better lighting so we started picturing inside the elevator. Naka-3 shots din kami bago bumukas yung pinto ng elevator sa ground at ang mokong gusto pang umakyat ulit para magpapicture pa ng marami. Hiluhin ba ako!

We directed to Goldilocks at bumili na naman ako ng walang kamatayang mamon! Ito lang madalas ang dinner ko. I'm not in a diet kaso madalas busog pa ako kaya lite food lang dapat ang kakainin ko sa gabi saka para maliit yung tyan. Hehe.

Dinaanan muna namin yung damit ko sa laundry saka dumiretso sa boarding house ko. At ayun, pinagtripan namin yung camera. Here are some of our photos.

reminiscing the past...

It came across my mind yesterday all the things that had happened to me for the past year. I'm starting to kiss the new year without even bothered to reminisce the adventures I had over the past year.

2006 for me was the year of learning. I've been through so many things. I've been through highs and lows. A dear friend of mine left the country leaving a deep loneliness in my heart but I find ways to forget her. Wished her good luck for her journey and prayed for her safety. I've been into fights, quarrels, arguments with my fellow workers and friends. Thank God, until now we're still friends. Even hard, we settled and fixed everything. In every trials, there are learnings. After those fights, I will think of it and tattooed in my mind every single thing that I need to avoid next time. I admit, I'm a bully, sarcastic, babbler and all the negative you can say to a Scorpio. But. I can lessen or even stop it. I know my limits. Anyhow, there are good things that came to me that year. Lovelife! From zero it grew to thousandths! Hekhek. But let's leave that first. It deserves a separate entry. Hehe.

Last year, I've been generous and accomplice. It feels so good in heart when you reached for help to others. I helped my brother find a job though 'til now he's unemployed. He's a stubborn, you cannot blame me. I bought my Mom a sofa that she's dying to get. Pft. I've been good to my Sister. At the quarter part of that year, I kept out on rumors and gossips spreading inside the office to avoid enemies. I changed for good and hope to become better this year.

I finally found myself...

I don't know how to start this entry. I just can't explain how I feel. I guess, I finally found myself in the loving arms of someone. The peacefulness and happiness I was praying before has finally blessed upon me by the good Lord.

For those who didn't know me before. I was sarcastic and frank. Words just spill out my mouth and I cannot control it. I don't care who you are. I don't mind if I can hurt your feelings but I know how to apologize. I'm not that bad as what you're thinking. I have a babble-mouth and a babbler until now but I've learned from my mistakes and never dissed someone. I can't keep secrets. I will relay it to someone whom I can trust but I was wrong 'coz he/she can't keep secrets too. I was arrogant. I believed in myself and didn't let others explain their side. I was selfish and I would do everything to get what I want. I've been to big fights. At work and at home. I drink and smoke if I feel the whole world is against me. I cried a lot. Tears of desperation and loneliness. I have no path to walk through. I'll just go with the flow and never think of the future. The saying "Live your life to the fullest" stuck in my mind and I took it vaguely.

That was me before.

Until one day, someone came into my life and change my world. He put colors to my life. He fetched me from the savage and show me the real meaning of life. No one can rate how I feel right now. I've learned how to give importance to someone. I've learned how to take care someone. I've avoided rumors and gossips that occupy my mind. I've learned how to act like a woman. (Though I look like a girl. Heh) . I've never been a pessimist but became a straight optimist. I can like you even you're snobbish and unapproachable and to exaggerate it, even you're annoying. (Haha!) My faith to God became stronger. To make things short, I became a better person. All because of LOVE. Yihee!

I just want to leave this message to all SINGLE out there. Don't lose hope. Life is full of surprises. You may never know...the one standing beside you right now...is the one you've been waiting all your life. So just SMILE. Coz it's the second best thing that you could do to your lips. What's the first? You will know it when you find that ONE!

so sick...

It happened that I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and a hoarse voice and didn't able to come to the office. I was lying on my bed all day yesterday. The boyfriend slept over to nurse me and I can award him as the best nurse ever. He fed me and massaged my whole body. I wonder why, so the blood will continuously run through my veins? eh? Isn't it?

Anyway, I managed to got up from bed today though my body is still in pain. I took a bath though I was chilling from the cold water. I don't mind. I'm so annoy with my smell. Perspiration dried under my head. Ew.

And now, I'm still suffering from this virus I got. Can't get rid of it. I should stay at home and rest. Again.

Happy Holidays!!!

Those were really happy holidays.

I spent Christmas with my love ones and most specially to my special love one. Yihee! That was my first Christmas with a boyfriend. And I can't thank God enough for giving me that special gift. I never dreamed of Christmas with someone cuddling me. I knew Christmas as wrapping gifts for my family and friends, writing greeting cards for family and friends and sneaking in crowded department stores with my family and friends. I never think of it as special as what I had this Christmas. Shopping with the boyfriend. Attending gatherings with the boyfriend. Noche Buena with the boyfriend. Wuhooo!

And here are my holiday ramblings.

If I'm not mistaken, it was December 10, 2006 when me and my boyfriend went to Divisoria to hunt an MP4 player which was his Christmas present for me. We had a hard time struggling to the people crowding the whole place. Tsk. I can't even move my feet. The current will surely push you to wherever you will go. However, we succesfully bought an MP4 player with built-in camera and expandable memory storage with a DVD player as his bonus gift for me. Hehe. I love this man.

December 18, 2006. We went to Glorietta. We shopped and dine at the food court where we bumped his choir friends. Everytime we go out lagi na lang kaming may nakikitang friends or colleagues. What a small world.

Last December 21, 2006, we held our Christmas party at Parasol. The party went well though it was not properly organized. The people don't have much time for the preparation, guess they were too busy. Our musicians, our pride, performed that evening. Jason, supervisor in MIDI RT, wildly strummed his guitar while singing the song "Awit ng Kabataan" as popularized by River Maya. Paul was the bass guitar and the second vocal while Neil took the drumset. There were thrilling games that boost to everyone. After the party me with the tech guys went back to work. Actually, sila lang. Sinamahan ko lang si Ben that night. Hehe. We went home around 2AM. Our boss drove us home. They were surprised when Ben went down and came with me in our house. Then the rumor start spreading. Heck. It's okay. We're pretty obvious.

And on the eve of Christmas the boyfriend made me cry. Huhu. It was late morning of December 24, 2006 when he phoned me detailing his burden on work and I symphatized on him. Then the chatting went on until we came to the topic where and with whom he will spend Christmas. I knew Tita was in their house with them so I was convinced that he will spend it with his family but as we go with our conversation I knew that Tita was in their province, his Kuya with his GF, his nurse cousin on duty and Manang Pia went home to her family. So he was alone at home. He told me that he will play on church from 6 'til 11 PM. Huwat?! He will spend the Christmas in church? Pero ang nasa isip ko, he will go with his friends and spend the whole night with them. Huhuhu. I felt a knot in my throath that I can no longer utter words. So, I wished him a merry Christmas and dropped the phone. Priority nya friends nya, magsama sila ng kaibigan nya! I went to bed and cried then fell asleep. I woke late noon with agonizing stomach. I haven't take my lunch yet. Argh. I checked my phone but got no message from him. Hmp. I don't care! Sinong tinakot nya?! (I was that angry that day.) After eating, I coaxed my sister to went on town and buy some stuff that we will need that evening. I coaxed them to sing so I can forget the pain in my heart. At 6PM I received a message from him asking where am I. And I replied him "Bakit?". He told me that his on his way to Polo (our town) and he wanted me to meet there. Thought he will play and tag along with his friends. I was so angry so he ask for forgiveness and when he came to our house he explained that he just wanted to surprise me. He will really spend Christmas with me. I cried and hug him. Yihee! That was the best Christmas I've ever had.

On Christmas day we woke up early and attend the 9 o' clock mass. I was with him and my sister. The church was crowded. What do I expect? People are giving thanks to God for sending his Son. At home my relatives came one-by-one. Our small house has been filled with little fellas running and grown-ups joyously chatting to one another. My uncle and aunts welcome Ben to the family.

And how about New Year? It was the dullest new year I had. Me, my sister and Mom celebrate it at home. Only three of us. December 31, 2006 afternoon, we went to my brother's house. Nakipagkulitan lang dun then went back home on evening. That's it. My sister and I only watched movies 'til 12 midnight.

And now...everything back to normal. Work. work. work.

And oh, I forgot, my new year's resolutions? Quit smoking and drinking. Goodluck to me, but I can do it. I can beat my stubborness. Haha