it really pissed me

This unwanted incident happened last Wednesday at the office specifically 7:30 in the evening. Me, Alben and our subordinate had an argument. The occurence started when she messaged me asking if we can deliver the tones she was formatting at that moment on Friday, supposed she will take a leave on Thursday. I answered her uncertain, because it is urgently needed by the client on Thursday. I can feel madness from her messages, she stated that she was not a robot so I asked her if I need to explain. She insisted that my explanation is no use...it's her job and she need to finish it. After what she said that unnerves me I demanded a meeting to clear things as I can smell misconception. She refused my request and she shouted exiting, turning her back on me. I don't want to write detailed lines she said to exaggerate things. I approached Alben so we can hold a meeting regarding what happened, explaining my side of rushing the tones on that day. Proceeding to the Conference Room we bumped into her at the reception area demanding her to go with us to discuss things. When sitted, she keeps on yelling on us that she was fed up doing all the formatting stuffs that she can no longer continue it and her head was aching due to others bothering her asking questions regarding formatting. We listened to her silently absorbing all her rants. I feel insulted as she hoots on us. I still managed to lower my voice and explained calmly to her my discernments.

Since Monday, I keep on reminding her that she will work over time on Wednesday due to huge order of MM with complicated formats. The total number of tones is 38. Last Tuesday, I gave her the first batch of it with 10 titles. I directed the arrangers to take home the 11 remaining songs for sequencing so the files would be ready for formatting on Wednesday morning. I gave her only 28 tones to format for the whole day. She pried a leave on Thursday so I rushed the arrangers to make the files due on Thursday on that day so she can format it and deliver. I tried my best to negotiate the delivery date to the client but they insisted to have it delivered by Thursday as they need the tones urgently. So I pushed her to finish the three tones for delivery on Thursday. Yes, there are other formatters who can do it by Thursday but I presumed that she can manage to finish it since I gave not-that-much load to her. Her attitude was so annoying when I'm explaining to her. She barked that she cannot finish the job as she was tired enough to do it and keeps on saying "What if I'm not here...who will do the formatting??...you do not even allow me to take a leave...blah blah blah" and all those stuffs. On that moment I forgot to learn the virtue of patience and told her to finish what she can do and get off as she said she was too tired. The meeting ended and we directed to our respective terminals. She banked the data she finished, packed her things and sped off.

This happening really pissed me. The blood ran over my head and felt uneasiness to breathe. If you were on my shoe...what would you do???

night life

June 24, 2006. We hangout at Bela Bar and watched our colleagues' gig. They were cool and they really rock!

Me and my buddy arrived there past 10PM. Although haven't yet recovered on my past sleepless nights, we pushed to Greenhills and bump into our cronies. The diminutive bar was crowded by youngsters who in life never experienced poverty. As we enter we can hear blatant noise from the inside. Neil, the leader of the Nimbus Crowd band was busy adjusting the audio mixer while some of his members were fine tuning their instruments. We grabbed chairs and start gaping at the busy musicians. After a few mins of tuning, they start to rock. They played pretty well and their compositions are quite good but I'm not into that genre. I am more sentimental but still depending on the mood. If I feel mad, I listen to hard rock songs. If lonesome, I'll go for sentimental music.

I only drunk half bottle of San Mig light. I'm not in the mood to drink that moment. I'm consious with the people around me. We planned to go to Goyong's place but the latter was so drank and can no longer manage to accommodate us so we opted to stay at the bar, rocking. Meekness is the great virtue Philip possess. He sitted silently beside us throwing simple smiles and grins. Bola is total opposite of Philip with his big mouth...haha...but he amused me, he's funny and he's a good singer. He really rocks!

I was suffocated by the smoke of cigarettes inside so I pulled Manette and demanded to breathe outside the bar. A group of boys accompanied us, friends of Philip. They were cute, funny and friendly. We wasn't able to memorize their names. I remember the one guy with resemblance to Kimpee De Leon (local artist) and Paul (our colleague) bragged "Audrey and Manette right? Alam namin pangalan nyo. E kami alam nyo ba pangalan namin?". We just laughed back and grinned "Hinde!". All the nothingness chit-chat and laughters...blah blah blah.

When felt tired and sleepy I demanded to went home. I dragged my buddy out of the bar with our guy friends accompanying us to take a cab. We reached the house safe and sound and went to bed with giggles talking bout what happened the whole night.

so wasted

Haven't had a good sleep these past few days that's why I feel so wasted today. Bulging eyes and shaking body. Smoking makes it more complicated but I can't resist it. I dunno, I feel addicted with it. FYI, I'm not really a smoker. I just learned it by myself when feelin' alone and have nothing to do. When home alone, I drink and smoke. I'm a bad girl now. Yes, I am. I just told Lhen that cigarettes make my breath malodorous. She shouted back like a bombshell "Quit smoking! You're not a smoker before! If you're just doing that to outstand then stop it." I fired her back "I can't resist it and I'm not smoking just for popularity. I'm famous. Duh!". And we both laughed.

I checked my cellphone and received five missed calls from Dems. I went down to call her back. Thank God nothing bad happened. I miss this fella. She's my buddy back on but now we're miles away. I owe her a lot and until now I'm begging her for help with this laptop.

Pfft....I really can't help it. I want to go home, pack my things and take a rest. I'm still adjusting my lifestyle with my new home, new bed with hard mattress and new neighbors. I'll be home with my full stomach and will lay my body "again" on that exasperating mattress. Wish I could buy a new one. Will you? hekhek...

new address

I just moved yesterday to my new crib at Sta. Ana, Manila. Me and my sister arrived there afternoon to dirt-off the room and arrange my stuffs. We're overwhelmed by the warm welcome of my new neighbors. They were very accommodating and helpful. Kuya Rolly stretched his hands putting up my fan and screwed my mirror. Tita handed me enough tools for cleaning. After cleaning we moved to Paco to buy some things that I need. Then came along Russ to looked-up and eat the special Pesto Paul prepared. It's really good with simple ingredients:pasta, olive oil, tuna and basil leaves. They went up to my bedroom and start messing and ruining my things, I hate them...hehe.

Well..all things went right according to what I wanted. =)

All By Myself

The rain poured heavily last night. I prayed for it.

The mass ended, me and my sister go for a spin. A huge drop of water from heaven hit my forehead. I looked at the sky and felt the remaining drops on my face and body. I told my sister to drive faster before we get home drenched. We're unlucky enough to avoid it and it rigorously attacked us. The heaven is crying hard sympathizing to my breaking heart. I find myself humming the song "All By Myself" as popularized by Celine Dion. As of this moment I can relate to this song..."all by myself...don't wanna be...all by myself anymore". I always have this feeling of emptiness...as if my mind and soul are floating and go to wherever the wind blows.

My bestfriend is with his girl again. they're back to each other's arms. So goodbye Saturday gimmicks...goodbye sweet days...goodbye texting...goodbye phoning...goodbye bestfriend. Anyhow, I'm still happy for him. He retrieved the happiness that once stolen to him...who?..I don't know...ask him...hehehe.

I always ask him if there's a problem coz I can see on his face the emptiness and loneliness of his heart. Although he refuses to confess it, I do my best to keep him smiling. We go out on our free days, watch movies, dine, we plop down on parks and start spouting off nothingness. Share dreams and ambitions. We fool around. I can still remember, inside Glorietta mall, outside Mark Spencer boutique while waiting for our colleague shopping inside, we play a game. We picked a line as a marker. Everyone who crossed that line with his/her right-foot stepping forward, I'll pinch him, and with the left-foot, he'll pinch me. We end up counting the numbers of feet crossing the line. What a silly game.

I stopped reminiscing, seeing my sister looking utterly to me with her eyes asking "what's the problem?". I focused my attention on somewhere else preventing her. Empathy is such a cheap and common virtue. I turned on the television, looked for some program that can amuse me. I startled speaking about my transfer to Sta. Ana. On Sunday, I will be moving to Sta. Ana, Manila. Start living alone. Feed and shelter myself. I am not used to it. I am dependent with the people around me. My Mom washing my clothes and cooking my food. My sister who's always on my side eagerly listening to my unusual-experience stories. My bestfriend comforting and caring me. My officemates making me laugh to complete my day. Somehow, I realized, living alone is quite exciting. No curfew, make decisions on your own, do what you want. I can smoke anytime...haha.

I slept leaving everything in my head hanging, hoping for the promises of tomorrow.

blah blah blah

Here I am again. I shouldn't be doing this...I should be working, looking for potential clients as our boss pushed us to do so. I hate it but I have no choice. I must do it. I'm not a graduate of marketing degree for God's sake. Why am I stuck in a world far from what I've dreamed of? My career here at you-know-where-I'm-working-for-a-living is in peril. Few of my colleagues plan to step down from the company this month, searching for more growth in other firms. For a moment it crossed my mind...look for a new career...as if I have...haha...but not here...I'm planning to work outside the country. I don't know what luck is waiting for me there. Baka maging hollywood star ako...haha!

I'll just take a break...smoke and have a chit-chat with Manette.

acknowledgement

Yahoooo! Many thanks to Anne and to her accomplice...they made my blogsite prettier. I am not in the mood to customize it or I'm just stupid with regards to tweaking. I say so, 'coz my friendster blog is a junk. It's unpretty! Ugly! The color is too pale...I guess it reflects on my mood. I'm downcast when I made that. Same as today, I feel sick. I want to get off early.

I got on bed today with swelling throat and hoarse voice. I don't know from who the hell I got this virus that's making me ill. I want somebody to cuddle me. Paksyet! How I wish I have a boyfriend who will cuddle me if I'm sick, depressed, low-spirited or kinda horny...haha...just kidding.

Somehow, I felt so blessed because I have my friends and family who love me unconditionally...charing!!! =)

welcome me

Wuhooo...Finally, I have my new blogsite and I'll stick with it but still the blog I've started on Friendster will still be updated. So keep on visiting it.