a cup of tea

DAY-OFF?

2009-06-29T22:33:00.009+08:00

Is there such a word as day-off? ‘Coz I haven’t felt it! Damn.

Yesterday, which is so-called “rest day”, was so so. We held an event for our beloved Telco dealers. We were at Power Plant Mall to watch the private screening of Transformers: The Revenge of The Fallen at Cinema 4. The day before it was a pain in ass as most of my dealers are asking for additional tickets to invite their whole kinsfolk. But 30 minutes before the film started was more annoying. We were informed that quarter of the dealers canceled their commitments and we were asked if we could invite more of our dealers or drag even friends just to fill up the cinema. So ironic. Anyways, we assisted the clients for the tickets and directed them to a long line for popcorn and iced tea (consolations). All of my clients went over…so…thank you. =)

Thought I couldn’t start the movie but Faye, my assistant, and I hastily stormed to the door opening of the cinema through a dark path leading us to the big screen. Lucky enough, the movie is getting started. Hehe.

I love Transformers as I’m a fan of it but I kinda liked the first movie than what we’ve seen yesterday. The story is shallow and out of the question to what a mind can accomplish. Actions are not detailed. When they transformed, you can see mechanical parts of the machine twisting and evolving into a robot. Anyways, I love Prime and Bee. They’re cute.

After the film, Faye, Loeula and I sneakingly left the group and bound home. Hehe.

Goodbye Jacko

2009-06-28T10:39:00.005+08:00

The world is mourning for the death of the legendary "King of Pop", Michael Joseph Jackson. MJ died at the age of 50 on June 25, 2009 at 2:26PM.

I was in shock when I received a message from a friend that my idol Michael Jackson died. I thought it was a prank message. So I hurriedly turn on the TV and scout for any news that would answer my doubt. I stopped at Net 25 and my eyes were riveted on TV screen and all ears on it. It was confirmed that my great idol Michael Jackson died last Thursday at Los Angeles.

Believe it. I bought all the albums of him. He was perhaps the most exciting performer of his generation known for his signature dance moves like moonwalk and high-pitched singing. I can still remember when I first watched his concert from a VHS tape my Daddy brought home when he came back in Philippines from work abroad, I was shouting and screaming in excitement. I was 8 years old that time. A friend of my brother gave me a magazine that covers him. I cut off all his pictures and posted it on the walls surrounding my entire room. Funny but I was totally in love with him up-to my college days. He went here in the Philippines for his world-tour last 1995. I can still remember when my cousin and I plan to sell our VHS player just to watch his concert. Haha. I was so crazy in love with him that time. I promised to myself that if he do another concert here in the Philippines, I won’t miss that chance to watch him.

I was preparing for his comeback concert but all was ended due to this shockingly tragedy of his life.

Goodbye Jacko… you will always be remembered.

Jacob's Ladder

2009-06-28T10:36:00.001+08:00

While watching the long time running TV program “Maalaala Mo Kaya” last night, a deep thinking crossed my mind. Why am I here on earth? What’s my real purpose? I just realized, I’ve been working hard and earning much for nothing. All for my self-interests, to secure my family and my future. A meaningless life.

The movie was about a doctor who spent all his life to help the needy. His wife has been demanding him material things as his the only doctor who works with nothing. Today, you cannot see any doctor without a car, all our secured. Surrounded with material things and all the comfort in life. But this man is different. He went to suburban areas to conduct medical mission. To teach proper hygiene to slum. To cure the ill. To provide medicine to sick. He found true happiness with these people.

The average span of time human lives nowadays is 60. I’m almost half of it and pity to say I accomplished nothing. I’m planning of securing a house and a car next year when I settle down but I can’t still feel the bliss. Is it all about me?

I can do it by myself but doing it in a group is more significant. Now I’m dragging my teammates to join me in one concrete mission: share the blessings and reach out for the poor.

Shet, is it really me who’s writing and planning all of these? Where’s the evil Eya? Wow, there’s still a little goodness left here in me.

Anyways, I want some changes in my life and I want it to materialize. Not tomorrow or the next day but NOW.

No Pressure, No worries…Just lovin’ it.

2009-02-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

Sunday…a day for rest, for family and most importantly for God.

I woke up this morning trying to persuade my Mom to go to church as it’s the first Sunday of the month. I won so we got up from bed and enthusiastically prepared ourselves for the mass. A felicitous ceremony ended. First time of the year I heard the mass with my family, not with my boyfriend. He was on service at their church before the dawn so he wasn’t able to come. My Mom and I went to the market to buy food for lunch. Told my Mom that I hate going to market mostly Sunday. Just hate the crowd and the messy stuffs give pain to my eyes. She scowled at me and told me that I need to learn everything in life as soon I will have my own family. I just kept silent. She’s right.

I love my daily routine. No pressure, no worries…just lovin’ it. =) It’s more than a week we haven’t had work in our office as the system was shut down for renovation. And I love my new office…here at home. Hehe. I gathered information through our outlook webmail access and sell. Hee. I love the freedom. Wahaha. No need to wake up 5:30AM for work. I can eat anytime. I can even watch movie and go to salon. Haha. Though my prepaid internet is too expensive and quite slow. I spend 100 pesos a day to keep online and on track. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I need to sell and sell to hit my target for this month. Need to earn more. Last Saturday the boyfriend came by. We chose to watch DVD at home rather than spend money in the movie house. We need to save more in preparation for the next year’s big change in our lives. And I’m excited for that. =)

I heard the news last week that my lababol cousin was 7 weeks pregnant. I was so happy for her for it was her big dream and god I envy her! I and her sister are supposed to be the first to settle down as we’re older than her. Hmp. Del, ang daya mo! Bleh!

Yeee! We still have no office tomorrow. Same setup as our manager disseminated to us. He just texted me now. Yahoo! I’ll go on gym with the boyfriend and his cousin tomorrow. Haha!

So that’s it. Hope to write more here. =)

Nanay's Day

2008-06-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

Before start bitching again, Happy Mom’s day to all mothers out there.

Even my Mom is not my idol as I always heard and saw on TV ads for the past days, I greeted her through text for the special day only offered to mothers in the world. I also greeted my boyfriend’s mom. We went out to treat my Mom and my Tita who have angst to her family. I feel sorry for her as she should be treated special today by her family but what happened was opposite of what she’s expecting. Anyways, she enjoyed our company.

I regale them to Max’s restaurant at SM Karuhatan. The restaurant was full. What do we expect? Ang dating nilalangaw na resto ngayon pinipilihan. We need to wait for two groups to finish before we can be seated. After 30 minutes of waiting, we finally had our ass’s plowed on their comfy chairs. I already had my order before we get seated but we still need to wait for a couple of minutes to fill our agonizing stomachs.

Food were great. I ordered for a half-table of their Menu letter C which includes kare-kare, sinigang na hipon, one whole fried chicken, dinaeng na bangus, lechon kawali and dessert. Yay. We enjoyed the food but my card cried after the glorious meal. Huhu. Okay lang. Minsan lang naman. Hehe.

Ironic

2008-04-24T14:28:00.000+08:00

I was chatting to a friend yesterday and our topic was her life insurance. She needs to remit 33 grand annually to that insurance in ten consecutive years to be able to get 1 Million when she died at any cause. Where’s the excitement there when you will no longer enjoy what you planted. I’m really not into any insurance, especially life insurance. You’re already preparing something for someone when you died. And most of the cases, when that someone knew it, they would pray for your death. Bwahaha.

When I was about to go home to catch for my favorite TV show, my colleagues invited me to come with them to meet someone. They persuaded me for a free food. Hehe. As I’ve heard they will meet an agent from a prestige insurance company. Fuck! I was just talking to a friend and discouraging her to that insurance and now I will dine to an insurance agent who will do her best to convince me to get one. WTF. I just found myself entering to Burgoo, meeting the lady, asking questions and lately signing the contract. Haha. How stupid isn’t it?

Life is so ironic. Humorously mocking as what you expected is different from what actually is. Pfft.

I prayed for this job and I got it. I wished to belong to this company and I am now working in it. Eight months passed, I struggled to survive and when I won the glory I just felt chill of passion. I don’t feel like working in it any longer and I want to move out as soon as possible. Isn’t it ironic? You’re dying for something and when you get that something, you would just lose the taste of it.

Life is making fun of us. Everyday of our living we encounter irony.

You wake up early to get to work early and then you will just find yourself, stuck in the middle of a traffic jam. You will go to church to pray but suddenly your eyes are sneaking to the woman’s bare long legs. You won a car in a lottery but you don’t know how to drive. You’re on a diet when a friend treats you in a buffet restaurant. A rain on your date. An important message to reply when you ran out of load. A great dream that you regret to have.

Things like that. Funny isn’t it? Just learn how to deal with it. J

Axis Summer Outing 2008

2008-04-06T14:28:00.005+08:00

It was my first time to join the Axis’ Summer Outing. I really wouldn’t want to as I felt belittled by the crowd of this huge company. I signed the waiver under my own free will not to join the trip. Apparently, the HRA sent a memorandum that all employees failed to file a leave on that day will be considered AWOL and won’t get paid even on holiday as per labor code. I still don’t get the benefit of having a leave with pay. I will be entitled of that privilege after a year of service in the company. So, I didn’t have the choice but to catch on the trip. Two days without pay is a big lost for me.

April 5, 2008 4:45AM. I and the boyfriend hailed a cab at the corner of their street. Ampy called with a loud voice rushing us. If I could just let this cab fly to get there on time, I would.

5:15AM. Four buses are halted in the corner of North Road. We walked over the place searching for our designated bus. There it was at the last row. I kissed and waved goodbye to Alben as I boarded the bus. The dawn is breaking when we left Cubao. I didn’t have the vim and vigor to socialize so I took out my iPod, put the earphones and sleep. I can still hear Ampy’s loud voice even the volume of my iPod’s in its maximum level. Nobody can beat Ampy when she talks. Pft. We stopped over in Pampanga, distributed our breakfast from the most selling fast-food chain in our country with hotdog, scrambled egg and rice. As Ampy desired, it would be more enjoyable if served in sunny side up and red hotdog. Choosy. Anyway, we didn’t finish it. She kept hers and shared with my mine.

We can feel the heat as we were driving through the serene, humble and pleasing sceneries of Bataan. It’s exactly 9AM when we reached the resort. A pool and beach resort. A huge streamer of Axis Global welcomed us. After scanning the whole place, we donned our swim suits and the whole crew poses beside the pool area for company picture taking. The program proper started. Karaoke contest, Mr. and Ms. Bodyshot then we went to the beach area for the games, Tug-O-War and Obstacle. We laughed out loud watching the players sinking in the sand, eating dusts, trampling on and demolishing the obstacles when they pass through. Haha. It was so much fun.

After the games, we went back to the pool area for lunch. They kept on pushing me to sing but they didn’t succeed. Hello! I won’t dishonor myself in front of 200 people. After filling up our empty stomachs we wandered around the beach area and enjoy our free time to do whatever we want. The water is clear and chilling. We played volleyball in the water. SSG vs Telco Sales. Haha. Most of our players are giants so the SSG frightened us that they will not encode our orders if they lose. Haha. Gen walked to the end of the beach, near the cave. We followed her and took pictures over there. They covered me with sand and molded tits and penis over me. The sand is heavy. I felt pain on my chest. Thinking crossed my mind, “It’s hard and horrific to be buried alive.” Sir Norman shared his rented kayat after getting tired of paddling. Hehe. I yanked it and they push me over to get into the boat. Ma’am Mean and Lynette is with me. We row and row and tired ourselves. Argh. We went to the shore and start tripping with our guys. The ladies covered the guys with sand and molded tits and penis again. Hehe. Ma’am Lynette and I posed in seductive look as they took pictures of us.

When we felt our skin is getting darker and painful from the heat of the sun, we gathered together and went to shower room. Though it was not actually a room since it is open. People are passing us by. Argh

We ate snack and bounded to our designated terminals to go back home.

New Year, New Plans, New Targets

2007-12-30T14:37:00.000+08:00

I’m here in our house, alone. My Mom, sis and her girlfriend went to my brother’s house in celebration of leap of year. I preferred not to come as I have my period and fuckin’ cramps that’s making me feel immobile and unsociable at the moment. After moving out from my boarding house at San Andres, I’ve never been this serene. This kind of moment, facing to my laptop, blogging my whims.

After working for months to my new second home, I can say that I finally adjusted to this kind of job. Dealing with different kinds of people. Testing your patience. Working in an environment where you need to wear a mask. Not just one, but a variety of it. In this career, you will find yourself awarded, appraised and deceived. In time, you will learn how to play the game and go along with these strangers. No friendship to treasure. No room for procrastination. You need to be active all the time. Smart and warm when talking to clients. Tough, wise and sassy when coordinating to bitches of that fucking support group. The only perks in working here are the benefits that this multi-million company will give you and SECURITY in life that this robust company will provide you.

Anyways, I enjoy working here because I never felt this busy before and I love dealing with clients.

Reborn

2007-10-12T10:45:00.000+08:00

New environment, new people, new work, new place…everything leads to loneliness. I started last Monday (September 3, 2007) to my new work in Cubao. I had a hard time adjusting to my new working place. Aside from being far to my boarding house, the type of transportation I took was a pain in ass. Here’s my new routine. I will wake up at 6am, prepare and leave at 7:15am. At Guadalupe Ilalim, I will walk in the circular sidewalk going to MRT station. Fall in line to the entrance for bag inspection and run to the rear for the women’s section. It will only take me 20 mins to get to Cubao station. Buy a doughnut and start walking 1km from the station to our office while grabbing a bite per step. Ho-hum. Tedious isn’t it? But then, I wasn’t bothered by the pain it was giving me instead I offer every step I take to my love ones and especially to the One Above who gave me another chance.

The days passed were so boring. I don’t have workstation yet. I haven’t enrolled yet. So I was just staring at them while they were so busy with their work but as they told me, they also experienced what I am experiencing now. One of them even told me that it took him four days gaping at his colleagues, doing nothing. The work is fine. Easy as I can see.

What’s making me so lonely is having been apart from my behalf. Being far from him tears my heart. Last night I cried missing him a lot. Hindi ako sanay na mawalay ng matagal sa kanya. Even a day. We’ve been together for four years and three months since we work at MRM. At biglang magkakahiwalay na lang because of my moved from work. Di ko talaga kaya. Nasanay ako na kasama sya lagi. Everyday that God made, we’re together. Pagpasok sa office, lunch break, snack break at pag-uwi. Namimiss ko yung naglalakad kami sa Makati Ave. dalawa habang nag-aasaran. Sabay kakain tas ihahatid nya ako dito sa house. Minsan tumatambay pa sya ditto para makipagkwentuhan pa sa akin. Namimiss ko yun ng sobra. 2 days pa lang pero sobrang namimiss ko. Di ko talaga kaya malayo sa mahal ko. Naiisip ko tuloy, what if I ask him to marry me. Ako na yung magtatanong o magpropropose para magkasama na kami lagi. Wala na talagang iwanan. But I know he has his own dreams that he wants to achieve and I have a responsibility with my Mom and sister. Pero sobrang nalulungkot ako. Hindi ko kaya yung kalungkutan. Kanina sa jeep pauwi, nadaaanan ko yung place na lagi naming pinagaabangan ng jeep pauwi. Corner Makati Ave. J. P. Rizal. Dun sa kanto na yun lagi kami nagaasaran. Sampalan, kurutan, tulakan. Nung dumaan yung jeep na sinasakyan ko kanina, di napigilang tumulo ng luha ko. Until now while doing this journal, I can’t stop my tears from falling. I miss him so much. We keep on texting each other. Updating each other. Pero iba pa rin yung kasama mo sya. Nafifeel mo yung care and love nya. Haaayy. Sabi ng kuya Michael ko “Insan isipin mong magbuti ang pag-aasawa. Hindi pwedeng isoli yan. Make sure na sya na talaga”. When I read his text message, I just thought, he’s really the one. I want to marry him and be with him for the rest of my life. 

Last night nandito sya. Umiyak ako ng todo sa kanya. Hagulgol ako ng todo. Sobrang namiss ko sya but we need to be tough. Pagsubok lang yan. Kakayanin namin to. Pasasaan ba’t magiging maligaya din kaming dalawa with our love ones.

He’s on his way to UST hospital now. He will visit Tita. Nagpaconfine daw kasi nahihilo at mababa ang BP. Gusto ko sana sya samahan. Gusto ko din dumalaw kaso I have work tomorrow. I need to sleep early to be able to regain from the past nights’ lack of sleep. I think I should just end this and prepare for sleep. Pray for our safetiness and for my peace of mind. =)

Step Forward

2007-08-18T14:31:00.000+08:00

I just made a tough decision in my life. It made me think for months and finally, I made up my mind. The dark clouds that covering the path that I should be walking, at long last, vanished. I can see the track clearly now. The fears that I were holding, plainly melted. The questions were answered. Oh god, what took me so long to settle?

I need to move out. I need some changes. I need to have goals in life. Yes, I’ve been working for four years, and just working for nothing. I don’t have destinations. I work today to be able to survive tomorrow. Tsk. I wasn’t aware that there’s a great life waiting for me outside that box. I was succumbed by the short-term happiness that it was giving me. The leisure at work that I could never get to others. Time is running. I need to run fast before it caught me. I just knew there are plenty of fishes in the shore. I need to taste all of them. Not just be contented of what I got. Life is short so I will live it to the fullest. Make the most out of it. Remove the fears and venture to something what you feel suits you. Leave the past behind and step into the new world that’s waiting for you with a smile.

I’d just like to thank that person who enlightened me. Thanks for making me tough. Thanks for making me decide. Thanks for bringing me down. It just made me strong. I don’t want to hold grudges before I leave instead I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you were not an asshole to me, I guess I wouldn’t know the true meaning of life. Living in peace, serenity, bliss and security. If you weren’t a cocky, I will just stick myself into that small fucking cubicle and day-dream. So, thank you.

Time to step forward.

10th Monthsary

2007-07-25T11:25:00.000+08:00

I was surprised by a bouquet of flowers sited on my table this morning when I stormed into the office. The first time I received a bouquet from my behalf. It’s the 10th month of our relationship. I ran to him and hugged him. I wasn’t expecting that. In return, I sent an ecard to him with these words:

“Beh, I don’t like the feeling when we are walking holding hands with some people staring us. You know why? Because they go GREEN WITH ENVY. I just want to tell them: Sorry, he’s already mine.”

We were so sweet the whole day. That’s the good thing of sharing your inner feelings to your behalf. The love inside of us grows stronger.

petiks

2007-07-24T20:24:00.000+08:00

Haven't wrote anything for a couple of weeks. Been busy with work and stuff and...weeee...I'm one of the owners of laptop now!!! I just bought a 10-month-used DELL Inspiron 600m laptop last Saturday. Me and the boyfriend pushed to SM Megamall to pick-up this thingy. The unit is in very good condition and the specs? Don't dare me. Haha! Pentium 4 processor in 1.3 Ghz speed with 512MB of RAM. DVD/CD RW combo. 40GB HDD. WIFI ready. San ka pa? :P

The boyfriend warned me as he's getting jealous with it. Haha! He said, sooner or later it will get my full attention and I will surely snob him when he's in my place. :D

And today, I've been surprised by a bouquet of flowers sited on my table. His present in celebration of our 10th monthsary. I kidded him "Kulang na lang sash at stand ah." Haha! Love this man. Yihee!

SERENITY

2007-07-22T13:22:00.000+08:00

I was down last night and due to intolerable heartache that I was feeling, I initiate the settlement of the problem. I texted him. “Still awake? I can’t sleep. I will not let end another night troubled. Why are these things happening to us? I’m too weak to face it. My heart is pounding and I feel so disturbed. I’m still hanging.” After a couple of seconds, he called. I can’t control my emotion so I cried a lot on the phone. He insisted to come over my place and talk.

After 20 minutes, he was knocking on my door. I hugged him tight and cried to him and softly whisper to him “Bati na tayo ha.” then sob and sob. Ahihihi. I’m so childish. But he love it. =)

Then this morning, Paul woke me up. At first, he asked if I will come with him in the grocery. I won’t as I already bought my shampoo, conditioner and stuff. Then he went down. And he came back banging on my door… “Eya buksan mo tong pinto! Kailangan kong makita yung laptop mo.” Hahaha. So I yanked the door open to let him in and gave the laptop to him.

We went down. Grabbed a bite of his tuna sandwich, smoked and went out to Puregold. It took us 2 hours in buying. Grr. He’s so picky. There’s this incident that he asked for assistance of all the staffs just for the stock of a big size conditioner. Pft.

When we got back to the house, I cleaned my room, brought my used clothes to laundry shop, refilled my water and ate to Akiks. As I got back in the house, Tito Jer asked me where have I gone and told me that he was looking for me for lunch. Hehe.

Then I brought down part of my laundry and washed it.

I finished at around 3:30 PM and took a rest.

My bebeh texted me at around 4PM and invited me on a dinner.

I heard the mass at Sta. Ana church and dine with him after the ceremony.

That’s for today. I almost lost him. I thought it’s the end of my love story but God cleared my mind and helped us get over the problem. =)

Is it the end of an era?

2007-07-21T16:20:00.000+08:00

Here’s another story of my life that I felt hanging.

I woke up early this morning forgotten the angst I had the other night. He went to his choir friends last night and went home almost too late. I didn’t argue with him coz it will also pass. Okay. The next morning, as I open my eyes, I hastily yanked my cellphone and checked for his msgs. And I was never wrong; in fact he was calling me. I was about to answer him but the ringing stopped so I just replied to his txt msg. So the issue last night was over. I told him that I’m okay and we will go out at around 2PM to fetch this thingy. Yeah. I just bought this laptop from a nice woman and I’m so lucky to buy it at a very cheap price. Everything went well. We saw this book stand in the mall that was on sale. I persuaded him to buy me a book using my charm. (As I’m always doing.) And yes, everything was okay. We went home very excited with my new laptop.

At home, he checked the unit and pause a little to rest before have our dinner. We were lying on bed while I was reading the book he bought to him. Then suddenly he brought up a topic. He remembered the letter he saw in my bag last Friday while he was searching for my stolen money. I didn’t expect that he will sneakily read it. Then he asked me what it is all about. He pushed me to tell the truth; well the truth is I wrote it for him few days ago. It’s all about my feeling of being neglected. The sweetness he had with me in the youth of our relationship. The sweetness I’m longing. The sentiments of a woman to his man. In ten months of our relationship, I never received a single rose from him. The act of sweetness of a man to his woman. Well, let’s say that he’s really not that type and I should accept him as he is. I shouldn’t change him that’s why that letter didn’t reach him. But he pushed me to tell what‘s in the letter. He brought it up. And my feeling turned back. I brought back the past. The instance I saw him with full of joy in his eyes when he saw that shop where he bought his present for his ex. The joy I never saw to him in our ten months of relationship. I felt bitter. Yes I did. That’s why these words spilled out to my tongue. “Do you really love me or you just love the idea of me?” He blew to madness. He punched the walls and the door and yell outside my room. I pulled him inside to avoid scandal. But he was pushing me away. He held my arms and hardly punches to his head. Ho-hum. He’s hurting me. He went out and wore his shoes. I thought he will leave so I shut the door and turned off the light. He opened it using his duplicate key and confronted me. Are we not going to eat? (Um…I thought you will going to leave.) I didn’t answer nor move. He sat and talk and talk and talk. Blah blah blah. Then the last piece of patience in me broke up. I shouted at him. Then he left, leaving these final words; “We will never get over this thing. We will never understand each other. You’re expecting too much from me which I think I can no longer give. I better leave before I can do anything that I’ll regret.”

I thought it was over. I cannot believe. I felt numb. Is it really over? Did he make his final decision? I went out to buy food with thoughts hanging in my head. I went to Tito Jer and burst out in crying. I lost my appetite. I cannot eat. I want to think. I want to know the real score. Is it really over? So I texted him. “I’m not expecting anything from you. If you insist that you will never reach my expectations, then I’m sorry. It’s your decision.” He called out and we spoke but he was still crying and shouting to madness. I told him to cool down and so he was to me. We ended up hanging. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Hope everything will be settled. I will sleep now with disturbing thoughts. Wish me good luck.

habol sa summer

2007-06-25T15:53:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, we went on outing at Laiya Batangas with the boyfriend's friends. (Sabit lang ako :P) The trip took almost 4 hours and when we're on the road, we saw eerie, gruesome vehicular accidents. A wrecked jeepney bumped by a rusty truck. I don't know if there's any one that got hurt but the most frightful scene we encountered, and probably the most morbid scene I saw in my whole life, right in front of my very eyes the corpse of a man in his motorcycle with head crashed by a heavy vehicle and part of his brain scattered on the road. Argh. I almost blew after seeing it. I was in shock for about 15 mins then prayed for the dead man's soul and for our safety.

Anyway, we reached the resort safe and on the right time. Lunch time! Hehe. We hastily dropped our things in the room and fell in line at the buffet. Took a short rest and explore the place. Actually, it's a beach and pool resort as what I was expecting. There were hot gals wandering around and apparently our boys' eyes were enjoying the scene. Bleh. His friends are cool. I didn't get a hard time hanging with them. They were warm and friendly. At syempre, di mawawala ang kadramahan naming dalawa. We went over an argument. O di ba?! Umeksena pa kaming dalawa. I-spoil daw ang outing ng barkada. We were like statues in the swing for a couple of minutes. Some of his friends passed us by and persuaded us to swim but we didn't bother to move. We just stayed there and spoke nothing. At eto pa, Rona took us a pic. We're both at the end of the swing and awkwardly smiled. Haha! Ampf ang drama! I felt a bit of a shame and talked to him to settle things. And when it was getting darker as the night bit, we joined them holding hands. Haha! Ampf talaga!

At syempre, moments na naman yun. We spent the night together. Yihee...though, there were still few dramatic moments. Wahehe. Drama princess ito e.

His friends don't love camera. They were quite shy...just take a look at our tons of photos in my friendster. Hehe. Starting in the morning before leaving, they started taking pics. Inside the van. Upon arriving at the resort. Inside the room. At the beach. At the pool. While singing and dancing. They really don't like posing and being captured. Hehehe.

I really enjoyed their company. :)

San ka pa?!

2007-06-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

How do I spell my last week's ramblings? T-I-R-I-N-G. My last week's activities were pretty exhausting but the reward I gained really paid the price. Sometimes you need to stretch a little bit to get what you desire instead of pigging out in your stamping ground. Expose yourself to society and learn more. Hmn. Did I socialize? I don't think so. Haha! At least I experienced dining and roaming in high class restaurants and places. Be with elites in high society. Nuh..I don't feel like pretending rich but I basked in gaping these busy, full-bodied fellas. That opportunity is very seldom so I grabbed and enjoyed it to the fullest. Bah! You're eating high-class food while earning. San ka pa? Nevertheless, you will die to boredom. Pft. Anyhow, me and the sister benefit here. O di ba? Hinatak ko pa kapatid ko. And she already brought the bacon home.

I'm disposing my old Nokia 6600 and planning to get an SE handset or if I will get the boyfriend's benevolence with my battling eyelashes and charm, I might get an O2 XDA Mini. Wahaha! Goodluck!

This is what I'm dreaming of. The smallest PDA phone in the market. Runs on the Intel PXA 272 416 MHz processor, and is powered by the second edition of MS Windows Mobile 2003 Pocket PC Phone OS. So tools and applications like Word, Excel, Outlook®, Internet Explorer, PowerPoint® and PDF viewer will always be readily available at your fingertips, enabling you to work and play efficiently wherever you may be.

This thingy is really expensive so I shouldn't be choosy. Second hand used is okay with me. In fact, I'm looking in Buy and Sell and found some of it at very cheap price but I'm not sure with the condition of the handheld. I came across with ruined-like casing but as the owner fend, its casing is available in the market and there's a variety of choices.

Hmn looks like I need more money for this one. Beh gusto ko nito!

Buy and Sell Philippines

2007-06-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

"Buy and Sell Philippines: Sulit Community, the premiere free classified ads website in the Philippines, is currently having an exciting raffle where you can win a brand new Nokia 6300. To join, you just have to post a message about it in your blog, in a forum or in any website. After visiting Sulit Community and joining the raffle, do not forget to visit My Sulit Homepage."

If you wanna have a new collection, try this one. ;)

WTF!

2007-06-04T16:11:00.001+08:00

You know nothing about me. We're just colleagues, working in the same company, under the same department and we share nothing aside from that. Guess you don't have the right to tell me that I've changed. Besides, think of it... don't I have the right to tell, you're unprofessional? We're both doing our duties and responsibilities. You made a commitment with me, so you should be responsible for that. Procrastinating is, yes, a sin. To our job! For Christ's sake!

I've been emotionally high this day. My Mom broke my heart as I phoned her. *sigh* I can do nothing about that. Ang hirap maging mahirap! I wanted to giver her all the wealth but I, myself, cannot feel the security in life. I got a job but it's not enough to pay the bills. When can I say these lines to the world..."Hey! I got not only a job but a CAREER and I just bought my Mom a house. I'm settling down and moving to a new comfy house and guess what...I'm sending my nephew and niece to college." Haayy...Ang sarap mangarap. Ang sarap tumulong pero kahit sarili ko nga di ko matulungan. If only I have money to send my nephew and niece to college, I will. If only I have the guts to work outside the country and seek for fortune. Haayy Fortunato nasan ka na?!

Real Girl
mutya buena

If I had one chance to
In my life again
I wouldn't make no changes
Now or way back when (yeah)
And if everything turns out
The way I hope it goes
But I cant wait to find out
What it is that God knows

But I don't wanna think about
What's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day
'Cause it's the only way
To be the best that I can be

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

And nothing's ever perfect
There's no guarantee
And if I knew the answers
It would put my mind at ease (no)
So I'll just keep on going
The way I've gone so far
And maybe I'll end up
Tryin' to catch a fallin star (yeah)

But I don't wanna think about
What's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day
'Cause it's the only way
To be the best that I can be

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

Baby this is who I am
Don't need you to understand
'Cause everything is right where it should be
It wont be long til you know about me,
'Cause I don't give a...
Even when I'm out of love
'Cause everythings just how it should be
And it wont be long till you know about me

love myself...

2007-05-31T17:58:00.000+08:00

Well, I think it's about time for me to look after myself? I mean my health (am I healthy?), my personality (do I look good, not only to the eyes of my boyfriend), my well-being, my quality of life my satisfaction, my delight, my spirit. All of that, which I think I've neglected due to this fucking work-for-a-living dilemma.

I'm feeling pains all over my body, I want to see a doctor to answer tons of questions circling in my mind. I feel pain at my back bone and my nape's often killing me when I get up from bed in the morning. My face's sagging. I have big, dark eye bags that making me look like Morticia of Adam's family and pimples. Argh. Hate it. Pft.

So......to get over from these unpleasant things. I should:

stop smoking (and I just started now)
eat right (avoid skipping meals)
drink milk (I already bought 1 box of Anlene milk)
~~sleep early~~, sleep 8 hours a day.
exercise
maintain my facial rituals
To enrich my well-being, i should give quality time to myself. I missed watching movies at home.
and to make my soul, body and mind complete... always attend the Sunday mass and spare some time reading passages from the Bible.

Hmn. Hope I can do all of these.

hello?!

2007-05-29T15:30:00.000+08:00

I have no interest of what you are going to get to satisfy your contentment in your own fucking business. It will not give me richness nor protection to my welfare. I'm happy with what I'm getting and trying to be contented of what life brings to me. I will not sacrifice my dignity in exchange to your fucking cents. So please, DON'T DRAG ME TO YOUR greediness.

Love? Think I got one.

2007-05-24T20:26:00.000+08:00

8 months of passion without ecstatic shags!

Yeah, it's the 8th month since I got someone who dragged me to blissfulness, showed me the true meaning of life, offered his unconditional love and unaccountable sacrifices. Am I not thankful for that one? You can take everything from me but I will shed blood on my hands if you took the love I'm taking care of away from me.

I cannot say we're perfect as we have flaws in our relationship. We argue over petty things. Lies (specially on my side :D) are not new to us just to protect the tie. Good thing is, we never let every single fight pass the day without making up and apologizing to one another. We keep secrets to one another as we respect one's opinion as long as it doesn't affect the good flow of the relationship. We believe in each other. We trust each other and as might be expected, we love each other.

Good thing I got love and I'll work to make it last.

Dig it!

2007-05-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

My mind's crammed with thinkings dissembling my self-esteem. I feel numb. I'm immune to the system. My mind's no longer functioning. What will be the next move? Will I continue to contend my opinions, suggestions, beliefs? I once felt lost but there's someone beside me that's keep on holding me up. "Don't think that you're alone. You're fight is my fight. Be with me and trust in Him". I lay everything in Him. "Dear Lord, You built this body and You're the only One who can bring it down. I trust my life in you".

He freed me with tangled thinkings. I opened my mind as well as my heart. I set my mind. You can't always get what you want. Yeah, right! Last day I came across with a colleague's blog and read her post which I can relate, that's why this song's always playing to my music player.

And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"
Sing it to me now...

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
well you just might find
You get what you need

You can't always get what you want even if you tried hard. I once proven it. I grew up in a belief that I can always get what I want. I worked with it. I played with it. I lived with it. But it vanished. It's like there's a small voice whispering at the back of my ear, "hey wake up! accept it! live with it! face the reality!" Even you sacrifice your own happiness, security and dignity. There's always a fight that you never win nor lose but you acquired something that will help you in a living and you will start to move on.

And now, I'm dealing with it but I will no longer let my happiness devour. Think smart and move fast.

And so much of that. While we were surfing with the vintage Nintendo games last night coz me and the boyfriend had a deal with the title of the old Nintendo game that can have 100 lives by pressing the combination of the controls, I came up with this lingeries that's pretty hot. Check it out!

Guys, if you ever find a girl wearing this, marry her!

I miss my Daddy

2007-05-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

When I heard this song...it shot me to the heart. I really miss my Daddy. How I wish he's here, caring us, comforting us, LECTURING me and loving us. Ho-hum...

I remember
When you used to take me on a bike ride every day on the bayou
(Remember that? We were inseparable?)
And I remember when you could do no wrong
You come home from work
And I jump in your arms when I saw you
(I was so excited)
I was so happy
(So happy to see you so happy to see you)
To see you
Ooh

Because you loved me
I overcome
And I'm so proud of what you've become
You've given me such security
No matter what mistakes I make you're there for me
You cure my disappointments and u heal my pain
You understood my biz and you protected me
I treasure every year in place a comemory
And thats why I want my unborn son
To be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
There is no one else like my daddy
And I thank you for lovin me
(daddy daddy daddy)

I still remember the expression your face when you found out
I'd been on a date and had a boyfriend
(my first boyfriend, you shoulda seen your face)
I still remember I called you cryin
cuz of my tattoo coulda said "Beyonc I told Ya"
So instead you said you'd get one too
(You and my momma said yall'd get one just like mine)
Words cant express my boundless gratitude for you
I appreciate what you do oh
You've given me tight security
No matter what mistakes I know you're there for me
Cute my disappointments and heal my pain
You understood by biz and you protected me
I treasure every extraordinary memory
that's why

I want my unborn son
To be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
There is no one else like my daddy
And I thank you (thank you) for lovin me

Even if a man broke my heart today
No matter how much pain I'm in I would be ok
Cuz I got a man in my life that can't be replaced
His love is unconditional
It won't go away
And I know I'm lucky (lucky)
Know it aint easy
Men? who take care of their responsibilities
Love is overwhelming
??
Stop a tear from falling
I love you so much daddy

Thank you
You've done so much for me
I love you,
Daddy

I'm so emotional daddy
Every time I think of you
I get emotional daddy
Every time I think of you
There is no one else like my daddy
No one will replace my daddy
Daddy daddy daddy daddy

I really miss you Daddy.

Puerto Invasion

2007-05-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

As a reward to ourselves from those long tiring days of work, me and the boyfriend pushed to Puerto Galera, Oriental Mindoro. Weeee. Pity to say but that was our first time to be at the place. We didn't even have any idea how to get there. Poor, innocent fellas. Hehe. I took charge of organizing the journey. I browsed the WWW to look for potential hotels, resorts, and whatever you may call it. Fortunately, I found this Blue Crystal Beach Resort which I guessed was a cool and relaxing place to spend the holiday.

We left the city in a bus at around 7AM bound to Batangas Pier. We brought all necessary thingy like medicines, alcohol, sunblock, music players, digital cameras, water and prepared our food for the long trip. We brought sandwiches with us which we both prepared at their house the night before we left.

After two and half hours we had our feet at the port of Batangas City and we looked like dumbass peasants storming at the entryway of the piled ticket booths. We bought the tickets costing us PHP 360. Fuck the lady at the booth giving us the wrong gate number. We fought the big crowd at Gate 3 just to get to the boarding area when the guard barked on us that the tickets we're holding are for Gate 2. Fuck! I almost lost my arms just to get outside.

That was my first time to ride in a ferry boat and I cursed boarding on it. The improvised platform scared me, I was shaking as I climbed onto it.

We were a bit disappointed when we reached the beach resort. The place's too quiet, peaceful as it was. No white sand, no ladies in two-piece's, the food were so expensive, no banging sound of stereos from bars, no LIFE! Pfft. But the amenities they offered were convincing and paid the price. The suite we got have fridge, aircon, kitchen, vault, tub, TV, comfy bed and cabinets. Not bad.

We just wandered around and feel the soothing place.

The next morning, after breakfast, we went to White Beach and rent a tricycle for PHP 400 back and forth. We had no choice but to bite it kesa naman tumunganga kami maghapon sa suite. Anyhow, we enjoy the ride. The roads were elevated stiff and rocky. Para kaming nasa roller coaster. Hehe.

At the beach, we were eyeing for sexy, voluptuous ladies in bikinis but guess we're expecting too much. Haha. Only one american gal captured the attention of the mass and she suddenly wrapped her body with a towel when she felt the lustful eyes around her, including me. Wahehe.

We wanted to try the banana boat but when these words spilled out from one of the crews ("Okay lang ma'am kahit di kayo marunong lumangoy. May life vest naman po. Kahit una ulo nyo sa tubig, aangat pa din kayo") Watda! No, thanks! But we will surely try it when we go back next year or maybe to Bora. Hehe.

I was so stupid. I didn't bring extra money coz I was relying on ATM. All I know ATMs are accessible everywhere. Ang tanga ko. Nasa probinysa pala kami. At di lang probinsya. Probinsyang probinsya. There's only one ATM in one rural bank at the town and unfortunately it has no power. Argh. So we went really budget that time. No henna, no souvenirs, no lunch. Haha!

And when we reckoned all our expenses and the money left from the boyfriend's wallet, a thousand bill will be left. Hooray! We can order what we want for dinner. Hehe. We filled our tummy with siszzling beef tenderloin steak.

And at our last day, I spoke to the gals at the next door and found out that they were also looking for ATM the other day. They paid the tricycle PHP 1000 just to get to Katiklan. Ang mahal grabe! They also went to White Beach and saw us. And they only came accross of that resort in the internet. Wekwek.

Anyhow, we came back home safe with the memories of that place kept in us.

Hmn...

2007-04-10T16:53:00.000+08:00

I forced myself to get up from bed this morning to be able to go to work early. My head was in pain and it was intolerable so I texted the boss if I still need to report early as I plan to work half day. Haven't received any reply from him so I had no choice but to get my ass off the bed. I got a message from him after my bathe

ME: Sir natapos nyo yung JV? Pwede na deliver? Half day sana ako e. Sakit ng ulo ko.

BOSS: Gud am Eya. Inde pa natapos e. Ok lang if you want to work half day. Come in around 2pm. Might be a long night again for us.

ME: Sir pasok na ako. Nakaligo na po ako e. Baka sabihin ni big boss "fail to deliver is a crime". Pft. Deliver ko na lang yung pwede Sir.

BOSS: Mag-half day ka na lang. Anyway hinde pa naman tapos yung JV. Alam ko naman kung gano kahirap magpuyat. Cge na. Mas needed ka later kesa now.

BOSS: Meron ka ba prods to deliver today? Kung meron man, I don't think it would harm us if we deliver it this evening. Rest ka muna for now.

ME: Wala naman Sir. Ok pasok na lang po ako around 1PM. Thanks Sir!

BOSS: Ok. Thanks for the hard work. Tiis lang tayo ulit this year. Meron naman me plan. I just can't divulge everything even kay big boss. Trust me as you did before. Inde ko kayo pababayaan.

BOSS: Pahirapan lang. Hahaha! Temporarily.

ME: Naks parang Metrobank. We're in good hands. Anyway Sir thanks for the patience towards my attitude before. Siguro may kanya-kanya lang tayong concerns. Anyway, I know we can pass this test. Everything will be fixed and the worthy will be rewarded.

BOSS: Really? We can? I don't know. Hahaha! We will if everything goes as I planned. Metrobank? Hmm. Siguro mas bagay kung PSbank. Hahaha!

I didn't get a chance to answer him as I fell asleep quickly. Hmn. With regards to the staffs' passion at work, it's undoubtedly that we will achieve our goal. Plans are good but it will be great if you entrust it to the people in a cycle. A leader is one who KNOWS the way, GOES the way and SHOWS the way. Let your little men know your inner thinkings so they can comprehend to the situation. Maybe the suggestions and opinions that they would lay on your table will be of a big help to your plan.

We trusted you before, now you have our faith. :)

Ayoko naaaaaaaaa!!!!

2007-04-09T21:07:00.000+08:00

Nakakabobo, nakakasawa, walang kwenta, walang nangyayari!!!

Ayoko naaaaaa!!!

Why am I stuck in this fucking work routine? I'm fed up of what I've been doin' for the past years. Paulit-ulit! Walang challenge! Nakakabobo!

I lost the wisdom I once holding before and now I'm goddamn bonded with this fucking work! I want to regain the knowledge I lost. If only I have enough money to get a crash course of it, to refresh it, I will. :(

I want a new work environment. Something that will push my mind to think. Sana...sana...matuloy na yun!!!

Back to work!

2007-04-09T14:16:00.000+08:00

It's Monday...oh my...and I'm just starting to hate this day! 'Coz most of the people are relaxing in their house, in beaches or somewhere else and just enjoying the long vacation while US are here in the office and fucking working! Well I should say THEM 'coz I don't have that much to do. Ahihihi. The surrounding is as peaceful as it was last Holy Week. No multitude, no scattered vendors on the side streets, no traffic and no goddamned LRT!!! Pakshet! It took me an hour to get to Buendia from Monumento taking only a jeepney. Pfft. I got all the dust and smoke from vehicles and my nape pretty ache badly probably due to exhaustion and hunger. I didn't eat last night and didn't take breakfast this morning. I was in a hurry to get here. When I woke up I idly grabbed my towel and directed to bathroom without any words to my Mom whose naggingly waking me up. I just talked to her after my shower.

My weekend? Too boring. We went to church early Sunday and met my Kuya and Ate there. After the mass, we went back home and I slept. I just got up from bed when I felt the pain in my stomach.

We don't have new DVD movies to watch and no new stories to told so I just persuaded my niece and nephew to sing. Hehe. It was too boring as that! When my Ate and Kuya waved goodbye I started thinking of things that will amuse me. I just phoned the boyfriend. Yesterday was the first day I felt near to him when he was actually far to reach. We kept on checking one another by phoning every hour. "What are you doin? Are you missing me? What did you eat? What do you have for dinner? What's making you busy?" Blah blah blah...And when he came home from church, he called me promptly. Letting me know he's already home. Yiheee!!!

We had a serious discussion regarding my search of a new place. My Mom talked to him and they both agreed to find me a new nesting place. There was this disturbing incident in my boarding house that really freaked him and my Mom. He offered me to stay in their place but it's a no-no so I decided to start looking this weekend. I love my current place but I should consider my safety. I can no longer count it as my refuge for the terror that built to us by that incident was unbearable.

Recharged

2007-04-06T14:54:00.000+08:00

After those long and tiring days of work I finally had a decent sleep last night and woke up fully charged. Thanks to Stresstabs, a stress relief multivitamins I took last night, that's making me feel strong today. I feel so recharged. Heee!

Hmn..think I should have a stock of it so I wouldn't looked haggard everytime we're working OVER time.

It's Good Friday today and...yeah...we're still working to finished all pending projects. I should get used of it and besides we still have work on Monday though that day was officially announced by Malacañang a NON-WORKING HOLIDAY! Anyway, we'll be paid twice of what we're earning in a day...oh...the staffs we'll be paid double and the officers will be given an allowance which I think is reasonable enough for us to report. Oh my...I'm becoming positive here. Well I guess this blog should obtain words of birds and sunshine not crows and darkness all the time. I just feel relieved of the stress I was for the past days.

As I've said before, we're still the ones who shall be rewarded for all the work sufferings. We will be in a vacation for 1 week, from ~~May 30 to April 4~~ April 30 to May 4. Yepyep...one week! Oh god I'm so excited of that week to come. We planned to spend it at Puerto Galera. I asked Ben to treat me by shouldering all the expenses. Haha! I should have said this to him "You love me so spend for me". Haha!

Anyway, as I had my way here to the office I noticed the peaceful surrounding. All establishments were closed and you can only see few scattered people. I just thought, people are still spiritually engaged to our traditional way of observing the Lenten season. My heart was smiling as my eyes were enjoying the serenity of the sceneries. This is one of the factors why I'm joyous today.

I will go home to Bulacan tomorrow to be with my family at Easter. No plans for that day. I should just unlax and enjoy the day with them.

Fuck

2007-04-05T15:11:00.000+08:00

Sue me for cursing but I will tell this to you, you cannot blame me. It's Holy Thursday but we're fucking working in the office without fucking water, air conditioners and the elevators were fucking down this morning so most of my colleagues used the fucking stairs to get here. Fuck! Ronald tell me, don't I have the right to curse?

Good for me. I came here at around 7AM and never hassled walking on stairs up to the 15th floor. I got here early to upload the files the poor formatters finished from yesterday morning 'til this morning. Hell yeah! They worked 24 hours to meet deadlines. WTF! Where's the justice dear Lord?! Give us the most valid reason why we're killing ourselves working here while others are enjoying their vacation. *deep sigh*

When will this trial (if it is...then maybe this is the toughest trial we underwent) end? We know we can get through with this. We can work this out together. Everything will be back to normal and nobody but US shall reap the rewards.

Pain In Work

2007-03-29T19:20:00.000+08:00

I've been working almost four years of my life and yet gain nothing.

When I graduated in college, I stuck myself in our store. I've been busy managing that stall. And I really enjoyed it. Kung hindi pa ako pinagtulakan ng Nanay ko na maghanap ng trabaho at bitawan yung tindahan na yun, hindi ako magbabanat ng buto at magtyatyagang bumili ng Manila Bulletin every Sunday at bilugan ang mga pwedeng applyan. Hunting for a job didn't give me pain. After a month and a couple of weeks, I found this company. Magfofour years na ako dito sa May but when I think of the years I spent in this company...tsk...nothing....I gain nothing. I just met the man who captured my heart...and aside from that....NOTHING.

*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

If only I knew that it will enslave me, I didn't go to Legaspi Suites, Salcedo Village on May 2, 2003.

Tsk.

I got off AGAIN this morning from work at around 4:30 AM. The whole team had been busy with this goddamn project that we'd been working for months and until now cannot perfect because of this goddamn unholy client that are playing gods and making us slaves. Umuwi akong tumitilaok na yung manok tapos kailangan ko pang pumasok ng alas-onse ng umaga para umattend ng meeting. Pakshet! Gudlak!

Gudlak sa mga taong nagtatrabahong parang kalabaw pero walang napapala. Yung pinaghihirapan nila, pinagtatrabahuhan nila. Sino nakikinabanang? Mga malalaking taong nagpapalaki ng ano nila! Putangina nyo! Mahiya kayo sa balat nyo! Pataasan kayo ng sweldo habang nagpapainit lang kayo ng pwet sa upuan nyo! Buti nga kung umiinit e. E puta bihira mo makita sa upuan nila. Kung hindi nagbreak, naglalamyerda sa labas. Nagmomall during office hours. O di kaya papasok na malapit na uwian tapos pag tinawagan para magpaliwanag kung bakit late ang hinayupak, ang dahilan...sakit ng katawan nya...lahat na ata ng sakit nadahilan. E masasakitin ka palang hayuf ka e di magresign ka na't magstay ka na lang sa bahay! Ang kapal pa ng mukha na magreklamo sa increase nya. E potah ka buti nga naadjust ng ganun kalaki sweldo mo kahit ni-singkong duling wala kang naipasok sa kumpanya na to! Siguro nga dapat manahimik ka na lang sa bahay nyo baka dito ka pa mamatay! Tangina nyo!!!

Scorpio [Element: Water]

2007-03-26T18:20:00.000+08:00

I've finished my work, browsed the internet and came up with this:

A Preponderance of the WATER element
A heavy emphasis of Water element signs puts you closely in touch with your feelings, and in tune with the nuances and subtleties in your environment that others won't even notice. You approach life and understand it through your emotions, and you're really at your best when you "play your hunches." You don't intellectualize about things; you respond exactly how you feel. Water sign people are very attuned to their feelings. An intense sensitivity permits you to experience the heights of emotional bliss, but it can also take you to the depth of despair. Close emotional relationships are essential to your well-being and happiness. Superficial affairs are few, and less than satisfying. Romantic, sentimental, and affectionate, there must be a stable and secure bond between you and your partner. When you are happily situated in such a bond, you can be a very nurturing type. You can be "smothering" toward your children, and very possessive of your mate. You are not one who can subscribe to the code "live and let live." You communicate best in non-verbal ways; emotionally, psychically, or through forms as art, dance, music, poetry and photography. You have a natural feel and sense for the arts. You're apt to let the heart rule the head. Highly impractical and impressionable, you sometimes use bad judgment for you are unable to be objective and evaluate situations impersonally. You may change your mind as often as your moods change, but rarely do the facts sway your beliefs.

Water Absence
The absence or limitation of Water signs in your horoscope suggests that you may have difficulty understanding the deeper meanings of events and circumstances. Indeed, you may be a little lacking in emotional intensity. This is not to say that you have no feelings, but it does mean that your emotions are not easily engaged and they really don't run deep. You aren't so apt to form those extremely close friendships and relationships, and you may even feel smothered and threatened by strong emotional demands of others. You recover quickly from emotional bumps and scrapes, never letting your disappointments get you down. Depression is never apt to be a problem. Many of the aspects of not having water signs are positive, but on the negative side, you must guard against becoming rather callous and cold, detached and unfeeling. Intuitive skills are not readily available to those with few planets in Water signs. In your view this does not matter so much, because you don't trust intuitive knowledge anyway.

Yeah, right!

I've been to my hometown this weekend and I just pigged out. I've no control on food if I'm in our house at Bulacan. I frequently open our ref and look for something to eat. Then I finally realized that my belly's getting fatter so I pulled out my twister and started twisting. Tsk. I need to get my figure right. And after sweating a LOT, ~~I grabbed a stick of cigarette and started puffing it. What a healthy exercise! Tsk.~~ I grabbed my towel and directed to the bathroom.

We watched "Night at the Musuem" by Ben Stiller. A funny movie. One of Stiller's good movies. After having the couches pressed by our big fat ass's, we crowded the kitchen and prepared our dinner. We used "Del Monte Chicken Mix", a colleague gave. They were busy following my instructions as I was dictating it. Hekhek.

And when I was settled on bed already on pajama, my mind was engaged with this poem I was creating for my bebeh, our phone rang. Here's my bebeh missing me. Yihee! He just said goodnight and dominated me to go to sleep.

Wait, we finally watched the film 300 last Saturday using the free ticket our boss spared to us. This man is so generous. He often invites us on lunch and it's still fresh on my mind when he offered us a trip to Boracay. Akalain nyo yun! Wish ko lang. Ahihihi.

The movie is awesome. It's full of obscenely ridiculous action sequences that would unhallowed your stomach. With the Spartans' fighting skill it is really possible for 300 versus million.

They Can't Take That Away From Me

2007-02-27T13:51:00.000+08:00

Mmmmh
Whoaaa

They can say,
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over
me,
And they can try
Hard to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to falter in what I believe or lose faith in my
dreams

'Cause there's,
There's a light in me,
That shines brightly,
Yes, They can try,
But they can't take that away from me
From me

No no nooo

Oh they,
They can do
Anything they want to you,
If you let them in,
But they won't ever win,
If you cling to you pride, and just push them aside,

See I..
I have learned,
There's an inner peace I own,
Something in my soul that they can not possess
So I won't be afraid and the darkness will fade

'Cause there's,
There's light in me me,
That shines brightly,
Yes, They can try,
But they can't take that away from me

No oh oh,

They can't take this
Precious love I'll always have inside me,
Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go

Woah, woah
They can say
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I won't face the ground,
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach,

Although they do try,
Hard to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe or lose faith in my dreams,

'Cause there's a light in me,
That shines brightly
Yes, They can try but they can't take that away from
Me
From me
No no nooo
Me

ho-hum...

2007-02-26T19:58:00.000+08:00

As I heard it from someone’s tongue, I felt dreadful as I am. Where will I be in the next couple of weeks? Am I still stuck in this sick world of living and turn back on reality? Or will I voluntarily step out of the cave and venture to the wide ocean? I don’t need sympathy from anyone. All I need is time, to think and move. I’m strong and smart. And I know I can be to better.

Definitely!

I better turn the other cheek and move on.

Okay. How about weekend? I stuck myself in our compound. I and the boyfriend planned to go to theater but we decided to be wise and keep the money to our pockets rather than drop it to the mall’s booths’ growing cash registers. We watched the film “Ghost Rider”, a torrent I downloaded from here, in my room. The copy was a bit dark, blurred and pixilated towards the ending. Hehe. But you can get a clearer copy if you will browse the entire site. Software’s and the site I used came from my friend Ronald.

My Sunday was a long and tiring day. I did the laundry and cleaned my entire room. Oh, there was this show off man in our compound that freaked me out. I was raging to anger when he placed his bike near the table where our breakfast was seated. I asked him with all the patience left in me to turn off his engine so our food won’t get smoked. He didn’t even move and I never heard any words from him. He didn’t even bother to look at me. Ahh. Gusto ng away ha. I yelled at him “Nakakaintindi ka ba ng tagalog? Pwede bang pakipatay na ng motor mo dahil may pagkain kami dito? “. Still no words from him and after a couple of seconds he turned off the engine and left silently. Ahh. Ganun pala ha. Butas yang gulong mo iwanan mo lang yan dito. Haha! Bad!

Then after making a dark plan of how can we revenge I went to Sta. Ana church to attend the 6 o’ clock mass. Haha!

A date.

2007-02-20T16:06:00.000+08:00

Yeah, that was a date.

It’s been a long time we haven’t go out and enjoy each other. And fortunately, yesterday he gave me the best gift a man can offer to his woman, quality T-I-M-E.

I was surprised though a bit irritated when he appeared in my working area early as expected without even informing me that he’s done, we can go then, blah. (At wala kang pakialam kung naginarte ako!) I frowned at him and he was stammering while explaining that he just wanted to surprise me. Fine!

I logged off and we silently moved out of the building.

We hailed a cab and headed to Baywalk.

While walking holding each other’s hand, we reminisce the past. Our moments in that place 3 years ago when we were just friends. Hoooo. We used to get there after work to unlax. And here are some of our erstwhile photos.

I used to have fat, round face and short hair that time. And I never wished of having that hair style again and I’m a proud owner of a slim, skinny, sexy body now. Wahaha!

After having a long, tiring walk we hunt for a cool place to dine. We eyed this long rectangular bus-like eating house with upper deck at the right side of Roxas Boulevard going North. The place was so cool. At the upper deck, you can see the enlightening view of Manila Bay and the promising sparkle of stars at the vast darkness of the sky. What a pleasant lovely night.

We finished the food with poking, bullying and unbearable laughing. Hehe. After a ~~jolly~~ good conversation (and it's none of your business if that's how I called it), we decided to head home. He took me home and vamoosed.

Well, all I can say is, that night he just moved me to the top of his to-do list and I greatly appreciate it.

Think. Replenish. Materialize.

2007-02-19T16:31:00.000+08:00

Iwas miserable thinking of those shitty things that I, myself, know can never be fixed. I sympathized with my loneliness. I was doomed by my selfish desire. I became so possessive without giving thoughts to the feelings of my better half. I never listen. I only hear whole of my heart’s ranting. I was been drowned by my own greed.

I think.

Why would I make myself miserable to the things that can never be fixed? Why would I let this sucked situation affect my entire life? What will I gain for being such a bitch? NOTHING. I’m just becoming a WOE. Woe is ME.

I replenish.

To be able to survive this relationship and live my life in extreme felicity. I should learn how to love myself. Unless I love myself, it’s hard for me to believe that anyone else will. When I love myself, in spite of failings and weaknesses I may have, I will feel confident and strong. Then like him. And enjoy being with him, NOT for the cruel reason that I just feel I need him to survive.

If he can’t give me quality T-I-M-E because of admissible reasons, I need to be more patient. I should be more understanding. I should be more supportive. I should find ways to fill my emptiness. How? Flirting is the lamest answer. Course, by making myself busy.

All of these replenish me and I know, someday, blissfulness will materialize.

Okay, enough for the drama.

If you’re aware (and I’m very well sure you are) of the song Irreplaceable by Beyonce, well here’s the male version of it, interpreted by Show No Love. The songs that have other gender version are greatly desired these days. Like the song Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, there was a male version of it sung by Elvin Costello. It was used as the ending song from one of the episodes of House Season 2. So Sick by Ne-Yo, has a female version (Ex-girlfriend). Fuck You by Eamon and the version of Fuck You Right Back by Frankee. And now, here’s the male version of Irreplaceable (To The Right).

I knew it will come out. Hehe.

For your total pleasure. I posted the lyrics with the audio track.

This is from a man's point of view
Fellas sometimes we gotta tell them ladies
To the right To the right
Aha yea get the stepin'
To the right To the right
To the right To the right
That's where I'm going in the middle of the night

In the closet that's your stuff
but trick i brought it so bitch don't touch
You talk a lot of bullshit all right
but while you walk and talk
I'mma get mine now
It's my name thats on your lass
You bald-headed rat trying to get rid of that

Back up out my face broad I'm really not trying to talk to you
Talking about I'm never gonna find a girl like you
You must got me fucked up

You must not know about me
You must think I'm playing
I can have another you in an hour
matter fact shes up stairs in the shower-baby

You must not know about me
You must think I'm playing
I can find another you on the corner
So don't you every for a second get to thinking your irreplaceable

Trick give me my phone
So I can call my chick and see if she's home
Oh shit I forgot that shes already home
What did you think I was putting you out for
Cause you was unreal kinda like the horse that is sitting on the back of your head
Baby fix them teeth seeing your
face is so old to me
Back up out my face broad I'm really not trying to talk to you
Telling me I'm never finding a girl like you
Boy you got me so damn twisted

You must not know about me
You must think I'm playing
'Coz I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact she'll drive up in a minute baby

You must not know about me
You must think I'm playing
I can have another you in an hour
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking ~ your irreplaceable

So since I'm not your everything
I'm not giving you anything
Nothing at all to you
Baby I'm not giving you nothing noway
Go ahead and shed your tears
Cause the truth of the matter is replacing you was the last tear

To the right To the right
To the right To the right

Gotta gotta go the the ri-ight

To the right To the right
To the right To the right

To the right To the right
To the right To the right

To the right To the right
To the right To the right

So don't you every for a second get to thinking
what?
get to thinking
what?
get to thinking your irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must think I'm playing
I can have another you in a minute
matter fact she'll be here in a minute baby
You must not know about me
You must think I'm playing
I can have another you in an hour
matter fact she's upstairs in the shower ohhh

You must not know about me
You must think I'm playing
I can find another you baby
theres so many of you baby

you must not know about me (two timing)
you must think I'm playing (back stabbin, heifer-lyin)

Always needing
I need something but the truth is
You have always been replaceable ohhh
Please see yourself out this way

Balentayns

2007-02-14T16:52:00.000+08:00

Parang kelan lang nagbalot at nagbukas ako ng regalo at bumati ng walang kamatayang "Meri Krismas". Tapos ilang linggo lang nagsindi ako ng lusis at sinalubong ang pagpalit ng taon, sabay sigaw ng "Hapi Nyu Yir!" Ngayon naman araw ng mga puso. Ang bilis ng panahon noh? Bukas makalawa Mahal na Araw na, Pyesta ng mga patay tapos Krismas ulit. Hehe.

Panay ang tunog ng telepono ko kaninang umaga. Tu-toot. Tu-toot. Mga matatamis na pagbati galing sa mga di nakakalimot na kaibigan. Nakakatuwa naman talaga. Kulay pula ang buong paligid. Di dahil sa pagdanak ng dugo ha. Dahil sa magagandang pulang rosas na nagkalat. Mapabangketa o mall pa. Hanggang dito sa loob ng building namin, nakapila ang mga mamahaling bulaklak. E dios mio naman. Nuknukan naman ng mahal ng bulaklak nila! Parang executives lang ang may karapatang magbigay at mabigyan ng bulaklak.

Nga pala, unang Balentayns ko to na may jowa. Yihee! Pero parang pang-karaniwang araw lang. Parang tulad din ng mga nagdaang Araw ng Puso. Yun nga lang may katabi ka na sa upuan. Dati pag lumalabas kami. Grupo. Ngayon. Grupo pa din. Haha! Kasi ang laki na nya e. Hehe.

Sa bagay, ala naman talagang dapat ipagdiwang. Basta alam nyo sa isa't isa nagmamahalan kayo. Hindi lang sa araw ng puso kundi sa bawat minuto, oras o araw na dumaan. Alam mo na may isang taong laging nasa tabi mo. Nagmamahal sayo. Yihee! Ewan ko. Nakokornihan kasi ako dun sa mga babaeng maihi-ihi na sa sobrang kilig pag binibigyan ng bulaklak. Tulad kaninang umaga. May nag-door bell na lalakeng pusturang-pustura na may bitbit na bulaklak at tsokolate. Sa isip-isip ko, sosyal naman ng nagpadala ng roses na to. Kailangan bang naka-tie pa yung magdadala?! Yun pala jowa na yun ng ka-opisina ko. Super kilig naman si babae nung nakita.

"Ay ano yan?" (Malamang bulaklak. Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita nyan? Dios Mio!) "Ano to? Ano ka ba? Ahihihi. Sipain kita jan e." (Kita mo. Binigyan ka na nga ng bulaklak, nanipa ka pa. Gad!)

Sabay hatak kay manong...este...sa jowa nya palabas. "Ahihihi...ahihihi"

Hindi naman ako nagiinarte dahil sa wala akong rosas noh! Di ko nakahiligan ang bulaklak. Aanhin ko naman yun? E wala naman akong vase dito sa opis o sa bahay. Tsokolate pwede pa. Hehe. Mas mainam pa siguro kung cash na lang o pakainin ako sa mamahaling resto. Wahehe. Pero gudlak. Kailangan namin maghigpit ng sinturon. Sa panahon ng krisis, bawal magpakakorni. Kumain lang kami ng sabay, okay na. Swit na kami nun. Hehe. E kanina ngang umaga. Buti na lang naka-diaper ako. Maihi-ihi ba naman ako sa kilig dahil tong lalakeng to, minsan lang magsulat to. Bigyan ba naman ako ng letter na nakasulat sa mahabang papel na kung saan lang nya napulot at nakapulupot sa wire. Parang yung papel ng resibo sa grocery. Tapos yung panali na ginamit ng mokong e yung wire pang-bundle ng kurdon. O di ba ang swit. Pero pramis. Natuwa ako nung nabasa ko. Minsan lang nga kasi magsulat to. Parang bata yung nagsulat. Haha! Puro kakornihan. Hahaha. Pero in-fairness lab na lab ako ni mokong. Yihee!!!

O syasya, Hapi Balentayns!

Gudlak sa akin mamayang gabi. Malamang uuwi na naman akong magisa neto at kakain sa boarding house mag-isa. Gusto ko ngang regaluhan ng malaking orasan tong lalakeng to e. Balak ko sanang tungkabin yung orasan sa City Hall ng Maynila para ibigay sa lalakeng to na lagi na lang walang oras. Hmp!

Pfft

2007-02-10T12:36:00.000+08:00

It's Saturday again.

On my way here to the office, I rode to this jeepney with, whick I think, an insane driver. I took the front seat not knowing the man would be beside me is incredulously crazy. He talks a lot. I just smiled at him everytime he speaks to me. I grew up keeping my Mom's advocacy "Do not talk to strangers." even he looks appreciative. It alarmed me when his hand forcefully shook my head yelling to another jeepney driver beside us, "Look! Pretty! Pretty!". I almost blew up and killed that lanky old man. I can't do anything. I just scowled at him. It didn't stop there. He keeps on talking. "Wag mong isipin yun. Mahal ka nun. Kung panget ka iiwan ka nun. E pretty ka naman e. Di ka iiwan nun." What the... Can you please stop talking or I'll kill you with my bare hands?! Grrr. He even slapped my left leg saying "Manay! Wag mo sinabing isipin yun e."

Ampf! Pwede ba?!

Thank God I reached my destination committing no sin. Grrr.

***********

Tomorrow's my Mom's birthday. I don't have any gift to her. I'll just treat her in middle-class restaurant and probably stroll with her the whole afternoon inside the mall. I'm running out of stocks and I don't have two pennies to rub together. Besides my Mom is not possessive. She's contented of what you can offer to her. I love her that way.

I'll bring the boyfriend to my hometown to celebrate with my Mom.

Goodluck to another weekend.

2007-02-09T19:36:00.000+08:00

Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday.

Why is this song making me feel uncomfortable? A bit of guilt inside my throat. And why would I act guilty? I just feel sad to the person involve. And I don't want to repeat her story.

*************************************
She texted me. She wanted to see me. Okay, no problem. I agreed hastily. I gave her the liberty to choose the day, time and place of our meeting.

All of a sudden, she changed her mind. I received her message early morning canceling our meeting. "What's in this woman?!" I just replied, okay. Then I received this disturbing message: "I just realized we have nothing to talk about. You won. You have him and I left here all alone. Hope someday marealize mo yung pinasok mong complicated na sitwasyon."

What the...

I simply replied: "Don't worry, I'll take care of him. Hope you find peace and happiness."

*************************************

Hope she already found another love. I really prayed for her peace of mind.

Anyway, I had an awkward dream last night. I'm lying with another man. Think he's the boy next door. And why would I dream of him? Hmmmn. Ala lang. I just feel that he has a crush on me. Coz I always caught him stealing looks on me. Hahaha! Haliparot!

strong but weak

2007-02-08T20:01:00.000+08:00

It made me think twice if I'll going to post this entry or just keep it unopened. But since I'm already here and have the nerve to write, why not?

I’m in a stew when someone scolded me. Anyway, almost everyone feel bad especially when they know, in their heart, they made mistakes. I dunno if I am being unreasonably obstinate. Throwing deadly look to the one lecturing or scolding me. Answering impolitely. Bitching.

I pretend to be strong but the truth is I’m chicken-hearted. I want to run to someone who will make me feel better. Someone who will make me realize the lessons I should learn from committing those mistakes. And for the record, I talk a lot. “What’s with him/her? He/She doesn’t know what he/she is talking about. Is he/she out of his/her mind? Blah blah blah.”

In the long run, I will keep my mouth shut, admit my mistakes and learn from it.

But for many reasons admitting mistakes is difficult. In our culture, an implication of work represents us: if you fail a test, then you are a failure. If you make a mistake then you are a mistake. And we can hardly accept failure and mistake.

And here are some of the things I consider in learning from my mistakes.

Growth starts when you can see room for improvement. You cannot be better if you don’t experience mistakes.
Work to understand the mistake until you can make fun of it (or not want to kill others that make fun).
You can’t change mistakes, but you can choose how to respond to them.

With these, I can barely feel the bitterness.

I pity this man who has his finger in every pie. He, who works hard and gives his full support to his men. He never complains. He rarely speaks his voice if his men did mistakes. He can’t even make fast decisions. He’s always behind time of everything. He can’t even go to a barber shop to trim down his hair. He has NO social life. How pity it is, right? Tsk.

negative...

2007-02-06T15:16:00.000+08:00

Now I know why the PPD test is not included in the annual health check-up. Was it me who said that? Moron. It’s a tuberculin skin test and it is done to see if you have ever had TB. And thank God I’m negative. As I experienced and do the research at the same time, PPD is done by putting a small amount of antigens under the top layer of skin on inner forearm. If I have ever been exposed to the TB bacteria, my skin will react to the antigens by developing a firm red bump at the site within two days. I was injected TB protein last Friday and I went back yesterday for reading. Yeah, my skin swelled up 5mm in diameter and is reddish but that doesn’t mean I am positive to one of the killer diseases on earth and besides there are effective treatments of TB nowadays. Living in a Third World country is not an excuse to lock yourself in your room and cry your eyes out.

Coincidentally, the episode I watched last night of House Season 2 is entitled “TB or Not TB”.

There was this famous doctor who becomes inexplicably ill while rendering service in Africa. He was sent to Dr. House for treatment. He knew he has a contagious disease he got from his patients in Africa, TB. But House didn’t buy that. He held his own study together with his assistants Chase, Cameron and of course Foreman. Sebastian (the famous ill doctor) called a press conference and while having his speech, House rushed to him and focused the light on his face. He’s turning yellow and pale. House announced that he’s having a cardiac arrest. What a brilliant son of a bitch doctor. He faced the camera and shouted “That is not TB!” After running a test (blood sugar test), they found out that he has a tumor.

My interest is growing more with this TV series House. I’m learning to like this pompous ass doctor, House. He has a strong, brilliant, domineering character that will surely raise your eyebrows. Haha.

Anyway, back to the tutorial. I’m refreshing my web developing skill. I need a part time job. My current job is not enough to pay the bills. A blue-collar job doesn’t matter unless it’s decent and will not harass me, physically and emotionally. Um. Waitress? Haha. Adik!

It’s getting worst.

2007-02-02T19:56:00.000+08:00

When I was taking a bath yesterday morning, I coughed with blood. Hell yeah, blood! And it’s very unusual. I never experienced coughing with blood. I was terrified so I quickly splashed the cold water continuously onto my body and hurriedly went upstairs to inform my Mom and of course my Boyfriend. Then after a few minutes my phone rang. Here’s the boyfriend to the rescue. He told me to see a doctor, immediately. Well, for sure, with what had happened, I really need to seek a doctor’s touch.

We met at the corner of our streets and directed to an associate medical service of our company for free check-up. I met Dr. Santos-Cacal, an affable person. Well, I guess I don’t need to repeat what she said verbatim. She advised me to undergo some tests and X-RAY. From some sort of two tests and an X-RAY it went to an annual check-up so the company will shoulder all the expenses. I just paid PHP250 for the PPD test and for some unknown reason it is not included in the annual health check-up so I settled the payment from my own pocket.

Arrgh. I really hate going to hospitals or clinics.

They took my urine for analysis. They pierced me with this needle, that I'm scared of, on my right arm and get enough blood for analysis. And PPD really hurts. They injected me this liquid-medicine-from-a-vial and as the fluid accumulated into my cell, an upswelling occurred in my skin. Ouch!

We lay our hope that the blood was caused only by a strained throat. Our fingers are crossed waiting for the result next week.

Huuummn.

It's Saturday again and by this time, I will go to my hometown. I miss my Mom and my sister. In this time of my life, I need TLC from a mother.

Same Script, Different Cast

2007-01-30T19:59:00.000+08:00

Font color coding:
Present girl.
Girl from the past.
Together.

I know he's leaving me for you
Who said that, who told you
That is true
What is he telling you
Could it be the same things that he told me

He told me that he loved me
(I heard that)
he told me I was beautiful
how did you know, how did you know
cause I played the scene before

CHORUS
This is a retake of my life
I was his star for many nights
Now the roles have changed
And you're the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera, now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now, cause it won't last
Same script, different cast

What you're saying could be true
But how can I take advice from you
I'm not hating
But I wish the one before me
Would have warned me too

Don't say no more (lalalala)
Uncover your ears girl
I'm not listening (lalalala)
But I know you hear me
Maybe my reasons are wrong
But I know that you believe me

CHORUS
It's your fault you didn't love him enough
That's the problem
I loved him too much
And when you love him
He becomes unattracted to you

Oh no, he's changed and I'll prove you wrong
So go away, leave us the hell alone
He loves me (he'll hurt you)
He'll stay with me (he'll leave you)
For sure, for sure

CHORUS
This is a retake of my life (of your life)
I was his star for many nights
Now the roles have changed
And you're the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now (just watch us now)
Cause it won't last (I know it will last)
Same script, different cast

This is a retake of your life
You were his star for many nights
But now the roles have changed
I'm the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now, cause this will last
I'm his future, you're his past

This song just reminds me of the battle I've been before.

weekend...

2007-01-30T15:44:00.000+08:00

It’s quite a long time I’ve not spend weekend at my boarding house (San Andres, Bukid) and last Saturday when I went to the office, I didn’t pack my things, didn’t bring a huge bag and didn’t bother to collect my dirty clothes and bring to the laundry. When I woke up, I just donned a simple shirt which I paired to a blue jeans, wore a pair of slippers and held my everyday bag.

That day, I and my old college friends met.

I went back to the boarding house early around 3 PM to meet Paul who’s near to blow to madness for waiting. I talked to him, explained the reason why I was late and one-by-one spoke to him the time of coming of others. (Because I was only the arranger, organizer and planner of our gathering!) After a few minutes, Jovel came in new jeans, shirt, shoes and accessories with blue contact lenses. O di ba ang taray?! And Vale, the lady who never stopped asking if we will still go, keep on texting me, where’s Russ? Is Jovel already there? Are we really going to meet? Blah blah blah. We fetched her at 7-eleven near our place. Then finally, Russell arrived with deranged hair.

We ordered pizza for dinner and watched Christina Aguilera’s “Stripped” concert. After few minutes of resting we headed to Library, Malate.

I never stop laughing that night. The gay and gal hosts were hilarious. Some of their punchlines:

Gal: Di man ako kasing ganda ng Nanay mo, kasing sexy ng Ate mo, malay mo isa ako sa pinatuwad ng Tatay mo.

Gay: Di man ako kasing ganda ng Nanay mo, kasing sexy ng Ate mo, malay mo ako ang Tatay mo.

The primetime host was Teri Onor. He’s so funny and in fairness he has a voice. We went home almost 2AM. We should have finished the show but I can’t stop my eyes from shutting so I demanded to go home.

Jovel slept over at my room. FYI, he’s a gay. He left around 8AM to catch a friend. I woke up around 11 AM, grabbed a snack and started collecting my used clothes for washing. Haayz. Wait. I first cleaned my room before washing. Hehe.

After I finished my chores, Alben came. We just watched nonsense programs on TV (Because my TV only have 4 channels) and after an hour he left to play for 6 o’ clock mass at Sta. Ana church.

I was already in pajama when, surprisingly, he came back after the mass because, yes, I know, he misses me. Hahaha! I don’t know what’s with him why he coaxed me to go outside to buy ice cream and carbs.

We watched the movie “In Her Shoes” by Cameron Diaz, Toni Collete and Shirley McLaine. We liked the story. It’s a story of two sisters who share nothing in common - other than the same shoe size - who eventually learned the meaning of family and the bonds of sisterhood.

Cameron Diaz stars as Maggie, the bad seed.

She’s the daughter who cheated and stole and generally made you embarrassed to claim her as part of the family. Her beautiful body, combined with her ability to turn on the charm as needed, gets her through life. Sleeping with anything attractive to get a free meal or drinks, Maggie’s aimless and wanders through life knowing she can always fall back on her hard-working, dependable sister.

Toni Collette plays Rose, the sister who holds down a well paying job, can be counted on to do the right thing, and has a penchant for buying beautiful shoes she knows she’ll never wear. The only mark against her is that she’s carrying on a torrid affair with her boss.

When Maggie’s kicked out of their father’s house (their stepmother’s a real harpy who doesn’t care for either daughter), Rose allows her to stay at her place until she can get on her feet. But getting on her feet isn’t easy for Maggie. Her dyslexia makes her lose out on a gig at MTV. She tries to be good by getting a job helping to take care of animals but soon fails at even that simple task. She borrows Rose’s car and gets it towed away. Nothing seems to work for Maggie other than using her looks to procure favors from men. When she impulsively decides to sleep with Rose’s boyfriend, that act proves to be too much for even Rose to forgive.

After being booted out of Rose’s place, Maggie heads to her dad’s in search of money and maybe a place to stay temporarily. Rifling through his drawers, Maggie discovers letters from her deceased mother’s mother. The girls’ mom suffered from a mental illness and was killed in an auto accident when they were just kids. Since that time, they haven’t had any contact with their mother’s family. Both sisters believe their grandmother is dead so it’s a real shock to Maggie to learn she’s alive and well and living in a retirement community in Florida. With nowhere else to go, Maggie goes off to confront the grandmother she just discovered is still around.

Pushed and shoved by her grandmother into standing on her own two feet, Maggie begins to blossom into a self-assured woman who doesn’t need anyone around to lean on. Meanwhile, Rose also reassesses her life and falls in love with a good, decent man (Mark Feuerstein). Yet hanging over both women is the horrible tear in their relationship that needs mending.

It’s a great movie that will make you laugh, cry and realize the value of family. You should’ve watched it!

And if by any chance you’re watching video in YouTube, Google Video or iFilm and thought of having that video in your PC. Here’s the answer man.

Install this VideoDownloader Firefox Extension to your PC then restart your Firefox. Then follow the instructions in how to download a video from YouTube, Google Video or iFilm. In downloading, you need to change or add extension flv to the video in order to visualize it in FLV player but for some unknown reason you want to convert it to other video format. Here’s CinemaForge, the easier shareware software in converting videos to SWF, AVI, MPEG, FLV, MOV, RM, WMV formats.

That’s it.

If you’re feelin’ lazy, don’t hesitate to ask for my assistance.

Bad trip man!

2007-01-25T20:09:00.001+08:00

Ilang araw ng walang internet dito sa office. Pakshet! Di ka makapagtrabaho ng maayos at di ko ma-update tong blog ko! Yun yun e.

Aside from our internet that's acting weird for the past days we celebrated our 4th monthsary yesterday that sucked because of my selfishness. I was not in the mood yesterday. Morning pa lang nabad trip na kagad ako. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Maybe because of my period. Or I was that bitchy. You can't imagine a couple working under one roof and fighting silently. Lufet noh?! You're all not aware that we're fighting or only few can notice. It works as simple as this. We will just discharge our feelings on messenger. Sabihin mo na lahat ng gusto mong sabihin through YM. Sorry ka na lang kung masama dating sa isa. Ganun! May isang lalapit pag di na carry. And most likely si lalake yun. Matigas kasi si babae e. Hehe. He will just pull me from my chair and drag me outside. We will find a place where we could talk. In that case, makakapag-usap ng maayos then okay na ulit. Mahal na ulit namin ang isa't-isa. Wahehe. Parang mga luko noh?

Anyway, last night, thank God we separated in good condition. I went home alone and he stayed here in the office to wait for his colleagues. They played basketball. I was supposed to go with them but I felt lazy. I can't pull a leg. I bought food and watched TV at home, alone. I watched RUMOR HAS IT by Jennifer Aniston, Mark Ruffalo and Kevin Costner. Potek and gwapo ni Kevin. Kahit matanda na, delicious pa rin. At empre, ang pinagpapantasyahan kong si Mark Ruffalo. Ang cute cute nya kasi at parang napaka-gentleman pa. At isa pang pinagpapantasyahan ko sa mga kababaihan sa hollywood. Jennifer Aniston. Her supahot body and innocent-like face. Rawr!

I missed him while watching it so I texted him sweet messages. Naginarte ako sa text. "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you and ruined our special day. Hope you don't give up on me. Just always bear this in mind, I love you, I care for you and I will never leave you." Ampotah! Ganun kasi ako pag nakakanood ng mga love stories. Nadadala ako masyado kaya nagbabagong anyo ako. Haha!

Syasya. Gabi na! Uwian na.

wag nga kayong shet!

2007-01-22T19:41:00.000+08:00

If you can't like me, so am I to you. I can't force you to love neither like me and if you don't feel like talking to me. Would you care enough to get out of my sight and throw your fucking ass to where it belong? Or you want me to do a favor and kick it to wherever it supposed to be placed. Wag nga kayong shet! You don't need to pretend. You don't even need to be nice to me. Don't push yourself honey. Be yourself!

If I wronged you...and apologized to you...don't play God and act like I ruined your life. Wake up man! We're not perfect. Even you. You did errors, mistakes and brought problems to your neighbors and in good faith have been forgiven. So please learn how to forgive, be true and move on. Live our lives peacefully and restore everything we lost.

Jezaz!

what now?

2007-01-20T13:52:00.000+08:00

I really enjoy every minute of work here in my new working area. Specially this kind of day, Saturday! I have no more fear if there's someone sneaking behind me and viewing my monitor. Specially the big boss. In my previous location, I was facing backward the door. Everytime the big boss enter the room looking for me while yelling my name. I don't even bother to turn around and face him because I'm wearing my headphones with music playing in maximum volume. Either my seatmate will poke me or message me saying "the boss is calling you". Now, I'm facing on the passage and they can no longer see what I'm doing. Brilliant! Hehe.

Last Thursday (January 18th), Alben and I went to SM Megamall to meet his family for a dinner. The time was set at 6:30 PM and the venue was in Dad's restaurant inside SM Megamall.

We need to rush our work to get there on time. He gave me the time of our leaving. By 6PM we should be hunting a cab outside the building. But of all the time, unexpected problem came. The FTP was acting weird. I cannot connect to any sites. Damned FTP! I uninstalled it and installed again. When I was doing that, I was surprised when Alben showed up ready to go. He's face looked worried. Shit! I hastily input all the FTP sites needed and faced him. We hurriedly went down the building and looked for a cab. Luckily we found one quickly. I thought we're already safe but the heavy traffic added pain in our heads. After 40 minutes we finally arrived at the mall.

We almost run to get to the venue. When we were spotting them from the outside of the restaurant, I heard his Mommy's voice calling near our back with his Daddy and Ate. There they are. I thought we were the most late. While resting our feet on the free seats Mommy eyed, Kuya came along with his girlfriend Abby. Then after several minutes, his Aunts and Uncles came. He introduce me to his Aunts and Uncles. Auntie Nene (who came from Spain) gave me a soft peck on my right cheek. Heee. I felt awkward. Di ako sanay ha! His Dad broached me their youngest and told me their number. I was surprised when I knew that he was the oldest. I joked him, "Di po halata ha!". Hoooo. Feeling close ba? Hehe.

Then we entered the restaurant. My eyes grew wide when I saw the volume of food spread on tables. When we were settled on joint tables, we directed immediately to the buffet. Yee haw! Eat all you can to! I only picked foods that I think will fit in my stomach. But I was wrong. I didn't finish everything on my plate. Ate kid me, "Ubusin mo yan. Lagot ka. Babayaran mo yan ng doble." Waaah! I can no longer take it. I put everything on Alben's plate and petrified him. "Ubusin mo yan ha. Malalagot ka." Bwahaha! After he finished all the main dish. We went back for dessert. We scooped ice creams and sliced cakes. Hehe.

When our stomach were all full. My fucking head ached. From my back neck upto my top head. Huhuhu. I felt dizzy and felt I was about to throw everything I put in my stomach. Alben looked for a drugstore and bought medicine and bottled water. He accompanied me 'til I caught a jeep to our house. He was supposed to bring me home but I dissuaded him. He has work to do and need to get back to the office.

At home, I just rest my head and slept early.

Yesterday, I saw my dentist because I'm feeling pain at my lower left teeth. I thought it was one of my molars with pasta that is aching but my dentist told me that the cause of pain is coming from my lower left tooth with its root slightly exposed. What was the cause? Excessive and hard brushing. The gums drooped down exposing the roots of my teeth. She let me saw my lower front gums that look like curtains due to hard up and down brushing. Ho-hum. Ang sagwa tingnan.

Doktora advised me to use Sensodyne and Pyodontyl for my gums.

That's for today. Babush!

I moved!

2007-01-17T19:00:00.000+08:00

Yes, I finally moved to more convenient, peaceful and bigger working area and as of now I'm enjoying working here. Free from noise and I have privacy but they're passing me by. And every passers notices me. With this charming face. Wadahek!

I checked my friendster and this is what my Horoscope says:

"Stop fighting against things you can't fix. Accept things as they are and smile."

I just took a big sigh. I should learn how to accept things the way they are. Never complain, question and most of all EXPECT. I will just hurt myself if I will not stop fighting against things that I know, myself, can never be fix.

Hoooooooo. Enough for the drama.

Time to pack and get out of here. I lovah my new working area. Heehee.

He's my man!

2007-01-16T19:05:00.000+08:00

They said he's man of no promises.
He's no good to me.
He will just hurt me.
He once break my heart and can do it again.
He never stand by my side and left me hanging.
He doesn't know how to touch a girl's heart.
He's just playing game and he'll never love me.

But what they don't know is how he makes me feel.
No matter what they say against him, I ain't go nowhere.
I will stay by his side.
By his loving arms.
No matter what they think about him,
I will always be there for him 'coz he's my man and I find love in him.
The love that we share lives inside of me.
The love that I never felt before.

No matter what I hear is all in the past.
Everything that matters is what we're feelin'.
And this feeling will never last.
The heart of his soul breeds inside of me.

'Coz my man, makes me feel so special.
He makes me feel so precious.
He makes me feel wonderful.
He makes me feel beautiful.
With him, I feel so comfortable.
He's nobody but he's my man.

I LOVE MY MAN.

restful weekend...

2007-01-15T18:40:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't say restful because I went to 168 Mall alone last Saturday. Ben forbid me to go out because we planned to take a rest the whole weekend. And because I'm a stubborn. I went out by myself. Paul and I should go together but he felt lazy and refused to come. On the other side, it's for his own good. He lacked sleep and need a good rest. I should really not go that day and I set my mind to go home early and buy DVD movies and popcorn but an evil idea came up to my mind and changed my direction. I took an FX going Divisoria.

The place was not so crowded compared last Christmas. People don't have anymore money for shopping! What's left with them are their gigantic debts!!! Thank God I don't have one. Well, I just bought blouses, skirt, leggings, accessories, belts and shoes. Hehe. Wala na ako masuot e. Bat bah?

After dragging tons of kikay stuff, I decided to went home. I bought 3 DVD movies. Borat, Another Gay Movie and a collection of 8 Tagalog Movies. That was the first time I bought Tagalog movies. I never bought Tagalog movies because (1) the copies are taken from movie theaters (blurred, dimmed and unaudible) (2)most of the stories suck (3)the production is cost-cut (4) and most of the stories are copied from foreign movies. Pffft. We watched Borat and that movie is hilariously crazy. There is no man in this planet that will act that weird. He's insane aside from the fact that he's a media man from his country Kazakhstan. He's an educated man from his country but he acts like a moron in US. Anyhow, he made me laugh.

Sunday? Hmn. I woke up 9 AM. Ate my breakfast. Watched Manay Po, the first movie we watched from the 8 Tagalog movies in 1 CD I bought. Sleep. Woke at at 4PM. Took a bath and went to church.

Before going back home, me and my Sis bought lechon manok for our dinner. Guess what? We're only three but we finished the whole chicken. Haha! Di naman kami gutom e noh? Hehe. After that we watched Inang Yaya and sleep. Hehe.

camera trip...

2007-01-12T19:45:00.000+08:00

Walang magawa kagabi kaya pinagtripan namin sarili namin. Pag labas pa lang ng pinto ng office, labas na kagad ng camera at pose kagad si Bentot. Haha! The shirt he was wearing yesterday is his best shirt. And because I gave it to him. Haha! Kaya sinamantala nya ang pagkakataon at nagpakuha ng nagpakuha ang mokong. Walang flash yung camera ng Mp4 ko so pics would be blurred and dimmed. We need a better lighting so we started picturing inside the elevator. Naka-3 shots din kami bago bumukas yung pinto ng elevator sa ground at ang mokong gusto pang umakyat ulit para magpapicture pa ng marami. Hiluhin ba ako!

We directed to Goldilocks at bumili na naman ako ng walang kamatayang mamon! Ito lang madalas ang dinner ko. I'm not in a diet kaso madalas busog pa ako kaya lite food lang dapat ang kakainin ko sa gabi saka para maliit yung tyan. Hehe.

Dinaanan muna namin yung damit ko sa laundry saka dumiretso sa boarding house ko. At ayun, pinagtripan namin yung camera. Here are some of our photos.

reminiscing the past...

2007-01-11T13:53:00.000+08:00

It came across my mind yesterday all the things that had happened to me for the past year. I'm starting to kiss the new year without even bothered to reminisce the adventures I had over the past year.

2006 for me was the year of learning. I've been through so many things. I've been through highs and lows. A dear friend of mine left the country leaving a deep loneliness in my heart but I find ways to forget her. Wished her good luck for her journey and prayed for her safety. I've been into fights, quarrels, arguments with my fellow workers and friends. Thank God, until now we're still friends. Even hard, we settled and fixed everything. In every trials, there are learnings. After those fights, I will think of it and tattooed in my mind every single thing that I need to avoid next time. I admit, I'm a bully, sarcastic, babbler and all the negative you can say to a Scorpio. But. I can lessen or even stop it. I know my limits. Anyhow, there are good things that came to me that year. Lovelife! From zero it grew to thousandths! Hekhek. But let's leave that first. It deserves a separate entry. Hehe.

Last year, I've been generous and accomplice. It feels so good in heart when you reached for help to others. I helped my brother find a job though 'til now he's unemployed. He's a stubborn, you cannot blame me. I bought my Mom a sofa that she's dying to get. Pft. I've been good to my Sister. At the quarter part of that year, I kept out on rumors and gossips spreading inside the office to avoid enemies. I changed for good and hope to become better this year.

I finally found myself...

2007-01-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to start this entry. I just can't explain how I feel. I guess, I finally found myself in the loving arms of someone. The peacefulness and happiness I was praying before has finally blessed upon me by the good Lord.

For those who didn't know me before. I was sarcastic and frank. Words just spill out my mouth and I cannot control it. I don't care who you are. I don't mind if I can hurt your feelings but I know how to apologize. I'm not that bad as what you're thinking. I have a babble-mouth and a babbler until now but I've learned from my mistakes and never dissed someone. I can't keep secrets. I will relay it to someone whom I can trust but I was wrong 'coz he/she can't keep secrets too. I was arrogant. I believed in myself and didn't let others explain their side. I was selfish and I would do everything to get what I want. I've been to big fights. At work and at home. I drink and smoke if I feel the whole world is against me. I cried a lot. Tears of desperation and loneliness. I have no path to walk through. I'll just go with the flow and never think of the future. The saying "Live your life to the fullest" stuck in my mind and I took it vaguely.

That was me before.

Until one day, someone came into my life and change my world. He put colors to my life. He fetched me from the savage and show me the real meaning of life. No one can rate how I feel right now. I've learned how to give importance to someone. I've learned how to take care someone. I've avoided rumors and gossips that occupy my mind. I've learned how to act like a woman. (Though I look like a girl. Heh) . I've never been a pessimist but became a straight optimist. I can like you even you're snobbish and unapproachable and to exaggerate it, even you're annoying. (Haha!) My faith to God became stronger. To make things short, I became a better person. All because of LOVE. Yihee!

I just want to leave this message to all SINGLE out there. Don't lose hope. Life is full of surprises. You may never know...the one standing beside you right now...is the one you've been waiting all your life. So just SMILE. Coz it's the second best thing that you could do to your lips. What's the first? You will know it when you find that ONE!

so sick...

2007-01-06T12:21:00.000+08:00

It happened that I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and a hoarse voice and didn't able to come to the office. I was lying on my bed all day yesterday. The boyfriend slept over to nurse me and I can award him as the best nurse ever. He fed me and massaged my whole body. I wonder why, so the blood will continuously run through my veins? eh? Isn't it?

Anyway, I managed to got up from bed today though my body is still in pain. I took a bath though I was chilling from the cold water. I don't mind. I'm so annoy with my smell. Perspiration dried under my head. Ew.

And now, I'm still suffering from this virus I got. Can't get rid of it. I should stay at home and rest. Again.

Happy Holidays!!!

2007-01-02T19:36:00.000+08:00

Those were really happy holidays.

I spent Christmas with my love ones and most specially to my special love one. Yihee! That was my first Christmas with a boyfriend. And I can't thank God enough for giving me that special gift. I never dreamed of Christmas with someone cuddling me. I knew Christmas as wrapping gifts for my family and friends, writing greeting cards for family and friends and sneaking in crowded department stores with my family and friends. I never think of it as special as what I had this Christmas. Shopping with the boyfriend. Attending gatherings with the boyfriend. Noche Buena with the boyfriend. Wuhooo!

And here are my holiday ramblings.

If I'm not mistaken, it was December 10, 2006 when me and my boyfriend went to Divisoria to hunt an MP4 player which was his Christmas present for me. We had a hard time struggling to the people crowding the whole place. Tsk. I can't even move my feet. The current will surely push you to wherever you will go. However, we succesfully bought an MP4 player with built-in camera and expandable memory storage with a DVD player as his bonus gift for me. Hehe. I love this man.

December 18, 2006. We went to Glorietta. We shopped and dine at the food court where we bumped his choir friends. Everytime we go out lagi na lang kaming may nakikitang friends or colleagues. What a small world.

Last December 21, 2006, we held our Christmas party at Parasol. The party went well though it was not properly organized. The people don't have much time for the preparation, guess they were too busy. Our musicians, our pride, performed that evening. Jason, supervisor in MIDI RT, wildly strummed his guitar while singing the song "Awit ng Kabataan" as popularized by River Maya. Paul was the bass guitar and the second vocal while Neil took the drumset. There were thrilling games that boost to everyone. After the party me with the tech guys went back to work. Actually, sila lang. Sinamahan ko lang si Ben that night. Hehe. We went home around 2AM. Our boss drove us home. They were surprised when Ben went down and came with me in our house. Then the rumor start spreading. Heck. It's okay. We're pretty obvious.

And on the eve of Christmas the boyfriend made me cry. Huhu. It was late morning of December 24, 2006 when he phoned me detailing his burden on work and I symphatized on him. Then the chatting went on until we came to the topic where and with whom he will spend Christmas. I knew Tita was in their house with them so I was convinced that he will spend it with his family but as we go with our conversation I knew that Tita was in their province, his Kuya with his GF, his nurse cousin on duty and Manang Pia went home to her family. So he was alone at home. He told me that he will play on church from 6 'til 11 PM. Huwat?! He will spend the Christmas in church? Pero ang nasa isip ko, he will go with his friends and spend the whole night with them. Huhuhu. I felt a knot in my throath that I can no longer utter words. So, I wished him a merry Christmas and dropped the phone. Priority nya friends nya, magsama sila ng kaibigan nya! I went to bed and cried then fell asleep. I woke late noon with agonizing stomach. I haven't take my lunch yet. Argh. I checked my phone but got no message from him. Hmp. I don't care! Sinong tinakot nya?! (I was that angry that day.) After eating, I coaxed my sister to went on town and buy some stuff that we will need that evening. I coaxed them to sing so I can forget the pain in my heart. At 6PM I received a message from him asking where am I. And I replied him "Bakit?". He told me that his on his way to Polo (our town) and he wanted me to meet there. Thought he will play and tag along with his friends. I was so angry so he ask for forgiveness and when he came to our house he explained that he just wanted to surprise me. He will really spend Christmas with me. I cried and hug him. Yihee! That was the best Christmas I've ever had.

On Christmas day we woke up early and attend the 9 o' clock mass. I was with him and my sister. The church was crowded. What do I expect? People are giving thanks to God for sending his Son. At home my relatives came one-by-one. Our small house has been filled with little fellas running and grown-ups joyously chatting to one another. My uncle and aunts welcome Ben to the family.

And how about New Year? It was the dullest new year I had. Me, my sister and Mom celebrate it at home. Only three of us. December 31, 2006 afternoon, we went to my brother's house. Nakipagkulitan lang dun then went back home on evening. That's it. My sister and I only watched movies 'til 12 midnight.

And now...everything back to normal. Work. work. work.

And oh, I forgot, my new year's resolutions? Quit smoking and drinking. Goodluck to me, but I can do it. I can beat my stubborness. Haha

barkada

2006-10-18T15:47:00.000+08:00

Matagal-tagal din kaming di nagkikita. Barkadang walang katumbas na halaga. Kaibigang kasama mo sa hirap at ginhawa. Mga taong handang lumaban para sayo. Mga taong kasabay kong tumawa, umiyak, mangarap, magalit at magmahal simula noong ako'y inosente pa lamang. Inosente sa mga bagay-bagay sa aking kapaligiran. Inosente sa mundong aking ginagalawan.

Haay... parang kailan lang. Lagi kaming magkakasama at sabay-sabay mangarap sa tabing-dagat. Natatandaan ko pa, sa kanila ako natuto ng bisyong aking kinagiliwan. Bisyong hanggang ngayon ay bumabalot sa aking katauhan. Bisyong pilit kong iniiwasan. Bisyong dulot ng pag-aaway. Hanggang ngayon sariwa pa rin sa aking alaala. Magdadala kami ng ilang piraso sa tabing-dagat kasama ang ilang lata ng alak na magdadala sa amin sa alapaap at tuluyang liliparin ang aming mga isipin ng aming mga pangarap. Aabutan ako ng isang piraso at sisindihan, sabay hitit, hanggang makarating sa aking baga. Nakakatuwa lang isipin ang mga kalokohan na aming sinubok.

Pagkatapos ng ilang sesyon, magtatayuan at maghahabulan sa lawak ng parke. Parang mga musmos na nagsisigawan, nagtatawanan at naghahabulan hanggang sa mapagod at maupo sa ilalim ng puno. Sabay tipa ng gitara at kantahan. Haay...ang sarap sariwain ng mga alaala. Alaalang gusto kong balikan. Alaalang aking muling pinananabikan.

Ngayon, abala ang bawat isa sa kanya-kanyang buhay. May mga trabahong pinagkakaabalahan. Karerang pinagyayaman. Pangalang iniingatan. Bihira magkita-kita at bihira magkausap. Suntok sa buwan kung magkasama-sama. Bagaman...sa puso ng bawat isa...nananatili ang mga alaala. Bagaman abala...nararamdaman ang pagka-ulila sa mga kaibigang minsang nakasama.

Ito ang aking iniingatan. Mga alaalang kahit lumipas ang ilang dekada ay di mababaon sa limot. Mga barkadang tunay.

tsk tsk...

2006-10-17T15:53:00.000+08:00

While surfing the net, I came accross with this mercy news. The typhoon "Milenyo", that recently struck our country and left chaos is increasing the death toll nearly to 200.

MANILA -- The death toll from Typhoon Milenyo (international codename Xangsane) in the Philippines has risen to 197, with at least 22 other people still reported missing, rescue workers said.

As reported by other government agencies, 154 people were killed in five different provinces. At least 20 people drowned overnight the hills were included in the figure. I saw these people on TV atop the hill fish-eyeing the impetuosity of the storm. Without knowing that their curiosity will lead them to death. And 5 other people were still reported missing. Humnmn.

The President gazing at the damages made by "Milenyo". What must she thinking? Hmn.

The eerie storm wrecked thousandths of houses and tens of thousands of hectares of farmlands. Evacuees who lost houses still remained in evacuation centers near their place. God help us.

For sure, Meralco, which supplies power to about 70 percent of Luzon, will put millionths to its infrastructure. Bwahaha. And in the end they will sue innocent people. Putting additional charges on electric bill that they couldn't explain the use. Pfft.

la lala lala...

2006-10-16T16:23:00.000+08:00

Hello folks!

Been busy with my LJ. I just dropped by to revive this blog. It's like an old notebook that never been opened for years and now producing spider web. Eww. Not bad. It will work on halloween. Harhar.

Yeahz. I'm becoming an addict. Crazy. Unstoppable. Fiend to blogging. Pfft. I dunno who gave me wisdom to blog. Whoever you are, thank you. You taught me how to express my inner thinkings.

Weekend?

Not that special unlike last week. An ordinary weekend where I spent most of my time watching movies. I doused my eyes on screen the whole afternoon. I pig out. Eat, sleep, watch, etc. My belly is getting bigger. Huhu.

Anyway, he will still love me even I became fat. He swore to me. Haha. And me to him. Ahihihi.

That's all.

memorable experience...

2006-09-29T20:51:00.000+08:00

I never experienced such horrific event like what we had yesterday.

I was in a deep sleep when my phone rang that made me instantly rose up from bed. While yawning and quite irritated of the unexpected call I yanked my mobile and checked the caller. I was surprised on the person calling. I hurriedly accept it. Shocked on the news I got, I just assent his instructions and forwarded it to my colleagues. I don't have any idea of what's happening outside my room. A quick look outside confirmed that, indeed, there was a fierce storm a-brewing in our area.

Though chilling, I took a bath and almost freeze to death on cold water. Wee. Poor fella, doesn't have a heater to keep my body warm.

While preparing and packing my things, the light keeps on flickering. The electricity might went down. I better dispappear here so I held my bag and sped off.

Heading toward the office. The wind got stronger and turned my umbrella upside down. Grr.

This wind is pissing me off.

While crossing the street, it almost dragged me.

Hmn. This is not cool.

Finally, I reached our building still alive though gasping to breathe. I bumped to my cronies at the lobby. Oh man. They informed me that everything were suspended. Boo.

We still went up and check it. I really don't want to use the elevator for the fear that it might failed and stuck us. But I prefer to use it rather than the stairs. Hehe.

Inside the office we can hear the wind hurling beside the glass windows of the building. The sound was very audible and eerie. Most of the tech guys reported but we plan to leave early before the typhoon caught us. We first settle everything and got off. Our boss, in good heart, offered to drive us to our respective places.

We gathered and went down. As we approached the back of the building. Sweet Jesus! The wild wind approaching south is like a katabatic wind that can lift and drop you anywhere. Thin roofs, papers, tree branches, and litters were swooping. All my life, I've never seen a wind blows wildly like that. I called my mom and check if they are okay. Thank God she was safe home.

Through the blurry scene we saw our boss waving to us inside his car. We don't know how to get there as the wind will definitely haul us. We have no choice but to run fast and fight the strong wind.

On first attempt, I managed to open the side door of the car but it was facing against the wind. The door slammed hard. I was gripping on the handle when the wind lifted me up. Ben grabbed and dragged me inside the building. That was close.

We need to get to the car.

After a deep breath we ran again and in full force opened the side door and finally got inside. We can feel the car lurching. Some of our colleagues failed to cross the killing wind. We're lucky enough seated reluctantly, though soaked, but safe inside. As we drove around the building, trying to fetch the others stuck inside the building, we saw bended trees scattered on the street, signage torn apart, bended electric poles, motorcycle knocked down on street and power wires suspended on tree branches. A horrific scenery.

We headed in front of the Pacific Star Building and fetch the others.

At last, we drove back home.

random thoughts...

2006-09-23T12:01:00.000+08:00

I missed entries for 4 days. I've been into a big fight. Hehe. Orders are in line to the door so I need to be rigid, fast and sharp. Anyhow, it was a good news and it will benefit all of us.

Another personal issue, I hate myself for being so stubborn. Why am I letting my own evil desires control me? He almost curse me to avoid this fucking pfft! I want to stop it but I can't. What will I do? Huhu. How can I get rid of this thing? I'm stuck to it. I know I can beat it. Someday. Pretty sure I can.

I'm with my friend Paul awhile ago. We had a chit-chat and he advised me to ditch my past and go find someone who deserves me. Someone better. Yes, they're not in favor of him. They find him loser. He's nobody to them but to me, he's somebody. Why would I let them decide for me? I have my own mind and I don't care if they find me stupid for hanging with him. I just feel loved and happy when with him. They'll get used to him. Someday they will accept him as him and as mine.

Last night I went home early and dropped by at Russ' house. I was fortunate for Tita gave me something to eat. Grilled liempo and tortang ewan. Haha. Free dinner. *smug*

I'm broke and I'm into financial crisis. I can't budget my money or I'm just not wise in spending it. Pfft. Whatever. I'm still broke. Can you lend me money? *wink* *wink*

At home while having siesta an odd thought crossed my mind. The song Ilong sung stuck to my mind. A song popularized by Apo Hiking Society.

Mahirap talaga ang magmahal ng syota ng iba
Oh sakit ng ulo maniwala ka
Ngunit kahit ano pang sabihin nila
Iwanan siya’y di ko magagawa

All I can say, OO mahirap talaga! Potah!

But if I were you, this is only an advice...if it still early...stay away. If you can still avoid him/her. Do it before you found yourself crying a well of tears.

Me and Russ will watch "The Devil Wears Prada" later today. I'll fetch her at home. Makapagrelax-relax naman!

let bygones be bygones...

2006-09-19T18:01:00.000+08:00

It's getting hot in here. Whew! Anyway, hope this entry will peter out the issues. Let's drop everything and move on. I will be more careful now with my words and names of characters as I learned from you guys. *wink*

Lemme recount my past ramblings. Oh and by the way, I have an LJ now. Click here or just click "alembong" at the side links.

I spent the weekend at Bulacan. I missed my family. It's been a long time we've never seen each other. I almost forgot their face. Haha. We got together at my brother's (Alkin) birthday bash at his house with his family. Aust, my nephew was so cute. Big brown eyes with long battling eyelashes, delicate lips and raddish skin. Damn he's so cute. I want to squeeze his cheeks. He amused me in his dance moves. The "hagod" move and "let's do the funk" move. Haha. Wonder what are those moves? Um. From TV commercials. Hagod from a cough syrup advertisement I guess, I'm not familiar with it and the let's do the funk move from a deodorant advertisement. Hehe. Kids nowadays are good imitator.

I arrived there late as I first went to an internet cafe with no coffee. Haha. I checked my emails and customized my LJ. That day was so hot and every part of my body was sweating. I know...it's yuck. Haha. And I curse my hair and myself for having it curled. It's gross and unmanageable. I should not have it curled. I miss my straight hair. Huhu. Anyway, they were distracted as I came. Everyone were ranting. You need to shout or use a megaphone for you to be heard. Their voice were blustering. That's how we speak to one another. Haha.

Hmn. What else? We watched the movie Crank by Jason Statham. Read my LJ for more details of what had happened. Ahihihi.

Um. Right now, I just feel loved and happy. :)

word for the week...BITCH

2006-09-08T15:05:00.000+08:00

Don't you know that it is an honor to be called a bitch? Have you ever wondered what makes a man want to marry a particular woman? Be a bitch for you to know. BItch isn't that a bad word. Well it depends on how you interpret and accept it. If you have a dirty mind, my apology for that. But hey I have a dirtier mind than you so knock it off.

Mood Status: bitchy

get out!

2006-09-07T18:01:00.000+08:00

Hey to all visitors...if you find this site offensive, well GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! I don't need feeble-minded alien browsing my blog. I will write whatever I want here. This is my online journal! Stop meddling! Mind your own. Freak. Pfft.

it sucks to be me...

2006-09-04T20:08:00.000+08:00

Whew! I've been so wasted these past few days. Lemme recount those tedious days.

August 29. This was a bad day. I did not report to the office to work on my documents I needed for a-plan-for-a-career-growth. Hmn. I woke up early to get to Manila City Hall to process something. I dressed up in blue jeans paired with comfty shirt and a pair of black slippers. The I'm-not-dressed-to-go-out-Buti-na-lang-I'm-cute outfit. I got there as early as 9AM. Hehe. That was early. Bleh. Upon entering the huge door of the hall I saw three men in blue shirts in the information area. I paced toward them, head up but not arrogant. I removed my sunglasses and ask for the location of diploma authentication. I felt stupid when the big-belly man told me that they're not authenticating diplomas and transcripts. Bits of water start runnning down my face when he told me the right place for it. Aww. I'm dumb. Nowhere to run, so I went to the nearest mall and have a brunch. I didn't take any solid when I got off the house. I texted Iryl and ask for the exact address of CHED and how to get there. After eating I went to NBI UN. I wasn't aware that the said bureau has been moved to Carriedo. Grr. I took another ride going Carriedo and look for that fucking bereau. Thank God it didn't take me hours in finding. I went upstairs without any knowledge on whats and hows in getting the clearance. I saw a young lady vendor bragging her ballpens that this item is much needed in getting the clearance. With her lungs out in shouting using megaphone, I distracted her and bought one then I headed to the bureau. I lost gallons of perspiration processing this clearance. Whew! I finished around 12:30 PM. Next destination? CHED Pasig. I commute from Recto to Cubao. Potah ang init at ang traffic! Tagaktak ang pawis ko. It just came to my mind to take the train instead of jeep. Ambobo ko! Ampf. Well, after losing another set of gallons of water from my body, I reached Cubao. From there I took MRT going to Shaw. I have no idea how to get to that agency so what to do? Ask and ask and ask. Argh. Finally, I reached the said agency. I guess I was been cursed that day. I had all the bad luck. Pfft. As I enter the building the guard hold me and asked my appointment and I told him what's my business there. Ampf! I was stammering when he showed me the address of CHED's QC branch. Grr. I hate processing documents! An old generous man explained well what to do. Go to my school, ask for endorsement letter then go to CHED QC branch. Hayz. Ayoko naaaaa!!! Frustrated, I went back to the office to meet Ella and the gang. I coaxed Ella to smoke at the 6th floor and we had a lil chit-chat then Amy and Iryl came. They took a break and we went up the office. We met Alben, Manette, Chard, Lhen and Pat at the main door. I was surprised when I saw the tech guys with Pat. They persuaded me to join them and my luck got back as Pat treat us for snack. Hehe. Well well...Amy log off early and we directed to parlor. I had my hair curled for a new look. Russ keeps on bugging me. What's the biggie? I just went to the parlor to relax and she's freaking mad at me. I don't know her problem. I just told her to cancel our meeting and move it on Saturday or any day she's free. Nagdrama ba naman. Then she reminded me of her favor. Potek nawala sa isip ko. I promised her about that video that she will be using in her presentation. Sa dami ba naman ng iniisip ko at sa nangyari sa akin sa buong araw na yun, maaalala ko pa ba yun?! Grr. I told her to wait for me and I will drop by at their house and we will do that video over night. Kahit mamaga mata ko sa puyat! Hayz. Why do we always need to please someone? Anyhow, even tired I meet her and we look for internet cafe. I finished it at 12PM without having dinner. I told her to burn it but she keeps on insisting to mail it. Fine! I left her emailing the video to her yahoo account. I took my late dinner and finally, REST.

August 30. When I had my feet in the office they start teasing me with my new hair. I don't care. I'm pretty. Bleh. The day goes fine and smooth til late afternoon Russ start calling and texting again. She attached the wrong file. Gademet! So I made another video but my PC is giving me headache. It automatically shuts down and I'm losing my LAN connection and sound. Whew. Pahirap! Anyhow, I finished it with cursing. To be safe, I burned the video. I texted Russ to meet me at the house so I can hand the CD to her. Then we went off. Alben and I ate at Inengs. I unleashed my madness to him and he was just quiet absorbing all my rants. I met Russ at the corner of our street. All I knew was to hand her the CD then she will go home. But I was all wrong when she told me to test the CD. Argh. I want to rest!!! Give me life!!! I couldn't say no so we look for internet cafe AGAIN to check the CD. I want to collapse when I saw the video been cut. Waaahh. I want to rest! I have no choice but to redo it. *sob sob*

We finished at around 2AM. I want to kill her. Grr. We went home and finally I laid my tired body on bed.

September 1. Ella coaxed me to accompany her at GB3. The scenario was to drop by, meet her friends and vamos. I have no idea that we will go on a despedida party. I have no choice but to accept the fact that I was idiot having someone dragged me to a place I never knew what's going on. Pfft. I just realized it why she was one helluva prepared. She even brought an extra blouse, fixed her hair well and put color on her face. When I met her friends I felt I was in a wrong group. I felt out-of-place. A crowd of conyos and bitches. Anyhow, I managed to mingle with them although they were intimidating. I was only gaping at them embracing and kissing each other. They were hell cool but still...bitches. I can no longer take it so I coaxed her to catch up at our colleagues drinking session at yoo-hoo. Never heard that place. We held a taxi, fetch Lhen at Buendia corner Makati Ave and headed to yoo-hoo. Happenings over there with all due respect to others have been cut. It reminded me of my childhood days. Pretzels! Haha.

September 2. I just stayed at the boarding house and played Word Factory with Alben the whole afternoon. Ah, we food trip. We bought ice cream, pizza, slurpee and nothing. Hehe. We spent time talking bout nothingness.

September 3. I went to Sta. Ana church to attend the 6 o'clock mass. When I turned at my back to give "peace", you won't believe who's the person standing behind me. My face turned white as I saw her and utter the words "peace be with you". The gal who hated me so much. I can't move. I felt numb and my heart was pounding. I finished the mass and sped off. Whew! You know what? I really wanted to invite her outside and smoke. Haha. Bonding ba?? Hehe.

Mood Status: relieved
Music Playing: Missez Feat. Paul Wall - Love Song

kampay!

2006-08-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

Another slumber party and the end of me. Omigod! I can't believe I was that drunk last Friday night. Well, here's another drama of mine. Me and Ella were supposed to have coffee at GB3 where that little freaking girl invited me to go out. I was supposed to go home early that night but she coaxed me to watch movie but I refused it coz I was broke. Again. All the time I am. Pity me. Yeah. She keeps on tapping my shoulder like a child asking for a toy. I shouted her "O syasya tayo na! Ilibre mo ako ng kape ha?!" Haha. I seldom drink coffee. Most of my friends drink it specially when smoking. It's the best buddy of cigarette but I prefer juice or soda. Anyway, instead of watching movie we decided to stroll and have a coffee. When we were about to go. Lennon's message popped up on Ella's screen asking for Sir Ruben. Out of curiosity, we asked why. He will treat Sir Ruben. Wow. Why? I don't care. I yanked the keyboard and harassed him to treat us instead of someone who's no longer there. Hehe. Selfish. So we went up the 27th floor of the building and messed with them. Ella and I directed at the foyer of the wide office. We scattered magazines and dirt pillows as if we're on our own house. Sitting reluctantly on the expensive sofa of the Jap fellas yelling at them, "Hoy bilisan nyo jan! Di naman kayo nagtatrabaho. Tama na chat! You're using company's resources." Haha.

After several minutes we pulled our bags, turned their PCs and the lights off. We directed to the 6th and a half floor of the building where a big crowd await us. Haha. Pacing toward the table we felt like celebrities on Hollywood walking on red carpet with flashing lights of cameras of the media men and fans hankering us. If they only knew. We're poor as hell. Haha. The guys grabbed the menu and ordered. The petite usherette handed us the song book and forced us to sing. Aww. Because Grace was wearing red shirt that night we announced that it was her birthday and demanded the host to sing a happy birthday song for our colleague. Haha. Poor Grace. The two Jaysons were so quiet. I never heard any word from them. Si Lennon lang ang nuknukan ng daldal. Potek parang bakla. Haha. Peace man. We mocked on others singing. Shouting out the words, "Escape Escape" Eject" "Ctrl + Alt + Del" "Shut Down" "Quarantine". Haha. Those words came from Lennon as if he's a good singer. And when he sang we shouted out "Delete Delete" "INFECTIOUS". Haha. It's Ella and my turn on the floor. We sang the undying song "Weak" with matching dance. Hehe. We're cute. Hell yes! Haha. Well, that night the air was filled with laughters and agonizing stomachs. Stomachs full of liquor not food. We haven't took our dinner that time. I felt the pain when I woke up in the morning. Argh.

To make the story short, we went home drunk or it was only me. Pfft. We exuberantly talked the happenings while walking on the middle of the road. We met Alben waiting beside the building. He accompanied Grace while me, Ella and the three boys went to my place. We waved a cab and directed to my boarding house. Jayson didn't come, he probably had other plan going home. With me in the cab were Ella, Lennon and Muri. They stayed awhile in the house, smoked and went home. They want to sleep over at my crib but it was a no no to me. Boys in my room. Nuh ah ah. I pushed them away and they speed home.

Take a glimpse on our craziness.

Mood Status: giggly
Music Playing: Tamia - Careless Whispers

nothingness...

2006-08-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

Another entry of nothingness. Staring long at this empty sheet, loss for words to write. Hmn. What's new? I just escaped the white chamber of Fasco-CS with the help of my friend Ronald. He sent me the walkthrough. Haha. Cheater! Bat ba?! I was just curious of what's with that doodad box inclined on the wall. I hate that morse code! My officemate Epex explained it to me. I was that stupid to understand the dots and dashes written on the paper I got. There were 26 lines representing the english alphabet. I couldn't decipher the code on that box using that annoying morse code sheet. I shouldn't escape it if I didn't have the walkthrough. Haha. You should think a lot to catch it and i don't have the brain for it. Haha. Lots of tricks and thinking. It will surely squeeze your brain off. These japanese guys are genius. Hell yeah! They came up with these brain squeezing games. But hey I manage to escape the other rooms without cheating. Hehe. But lots of asking. Haha.

What more? We have a new officemate with a bubble-mouth. We clicked together because we're both petite, cute and crazy. I made to avoid profanity but when I met her I'm used to it again. Erm. Her name is Ella, a designer. Her portfolio was amazing. I can't believe that little girl made those designs. You should visit her multiply to see her works.

What else? I'm goddamn sleepy. I can't keep my eyes from shutting. Grr. I took stresstab this morning believing that it will make me up for the whole day. I just learned from Ella that this tab will knock you down and I'm feeling the effect now. Argh. I should take it at night before bed.

Time to hit the road. Byeee!

Mood Status: sleepy
Music Playing: Babyface - Seven Seas

a recap...

2006-08-16T17:54:00.000+08:00

Here's a little recap of the past days without blogging.

August 12. I came to the office late. As usual. I was wasted that day due to the past sleepless nights. Bulge eyes and sag face. Pfft. I pulled Amy and went to 6th floor to take breakfast and smoke. We had a little chit-chat with Manette and Sir Carlo then went back for work. I checked the emails and prepare the work of arrangers for Monday. I plan to go home early and take a rest but as I start packing my things Amy came panting and coax me to join them on lunch. Our boss invited her for lunch with Sir Carlo. I think the big boss is on the mood to go out and want to waste time with us. Haha. Maybe he was bored. Ahihihi. Although not invited, I go with them. Kapal e noh? Blame Amy, she persuaded me. I don't know why she's awkward with the big boss. Hmmnn...I smell something. Haha.

The park was crowded with food stands and different goodies. You can see the busy vendors debating with their buyers. They sell for a living so why argue to the one that's giving them subsistence. Anyway, I shut my eyes and turned to my colleagues. Sir Carlo and I craved for pork lechon while Amy went to the grillery and buy tuna belly. Hmm, yummy. Hehe. Our boss bought grilled flafla and fried rice. More delicious. Haha. We look for drinks and came accross with flavored tea stall. Mixed berries for me, Sir Carlo and the big boss and mango for Amy. Their flavored tea was high-priced. A single tea bag submerged into the hotwater of a small cup with crashed ice and flavoring for PHP 50. Pfft. Anyway, it was my boss' treat so I need to shut up. As we walkthrough the crowded area to look for a place to dine we saw Dominic Ochoa with a girl, a celebrity here but not that famous coz he's not that good-looking. Aww. We eyed a long table with free sits so we hurriedly grabbed the chair and rested our feet. Sir Carlo was still on the lechon stand waiting for our food. I texted to him our location. I was shocked when I read her girlfriend's reply. "Sino to? Bakit mo pinapapunta si carlo sa park? Anong meron sa park?" Hahaha. We laugh when I flash it to them. Tay ka na Sir! Hehehe. After eating, throwing jokes and gossips our boss drives us back to the office. We stayed at the office. I waited for Amy uploading contents to her shuffle. After 20 minutes we speed off. I directed to my boarding house and sleep. I woke up at dawn and texted Russel if she will drop to my place. Well, she did and we shared kikay stories.

August 13. It was a long day. I locked myself in the room and guess what I did. Sleep..read..eat..sleep..read. Pfft. When it's 5 pm. I took a bath and went to Russ' house. I told her to feed me coz I was that broke and can't afford a decent dinner. Argh.

August 14. Hmmn. I don't remember what I did that day. Haha. It was an ordinary day. Alben was on leave so I took over him. We delivered all due files early and got off early. I ate at Mc Donald's alone and smoke outside alone. *sigh*. It was a super lonely day.

August 15. It was a bad day. Don't ask it. My heart was pounding and can't throw a smile to people passes by. I went home early.

Well, that's it.

Mood Status: Bitchy
Music Playing: Avril Lavigne - How Does It Feel

Countess Meme

2006-08-10T16:14:00.000+08:00

LiveJournal has this meme that interests me. So in desperate to have it in blogger. I search for it and came up with this meme from the Countess. Well, check this out.

Question number1: What are three of the stupidiest things you've done in your life.

1. Sticking with a job that never interest me from the very first day I reported.

2. Clinging to someone who's already committed and made myself fall at a wrong time that's killing me now.

3. There was this incident where me and my Mom were faked by a group of ladies. It happened in our toy shop. 3 women in their mid-40s came looking for toys as presents for their grand children. As they told us, one of them just came from US and was just visiting the country. So we offered the best selling toy to us that is quite expensive. They bought 3 pieces of it and paid us in dollar bill. 100 US dollar to be specific. Me and my Mom exchanged looks. Hello! We're in the Philippines why would you pay us green money??!! But then we're too stupid that we accepted it and gave their change. My Mom hurriedly went to our neighbor who's working from a bank and handed the dollar paid to us. It was too late when we knew that it was fake. We're not stupid, we're morons. (*deep sigh*)

Question number 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?

No one but my own evil desires.

Question number 3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

Jesus, my father, my grand father (Lolo Titong), Ferdinand Marcos, Princess Diana.

Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

(1) To be with my ideal man; (2) To remain in good health until the day we die (3) To travel around the world.

Question number 5: Name one event that has changed your life.

When my bestfriend left me. I felt so alone. I was alone at home so I drink and smoke. Bad isnt' it?

Question number 6: Is not a question. It's a command. Tag five other people.

It's beneath us. For those who wish to try this meme are free to do so.

Year of the Monkey

2006-08-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

I got the all-about of this chinese zodiac from my friend Ronald. If you get interested, check the website.

No task is too great for the clever Monkeys. They master most anything. They have extremely charming manners that draw others. Monkeys solve difficult problems with ease.They are quick-witted,innovative, and they have total and intense belief in themselves. No one delights in their own accomplishments like the Monkeys. Enjoying themselves immensely, they try anything at least once! Monkeys are intellectual and their memory is phenomenal. They recall the smallest details of everything they have seen,read, and heard. They must depend on that memory since they have an otherwise untidy mind. Monkeys are wizards with money. They are original, shrewd, and when they need to, they can fool anyone.There are a hundred and one fantastic schemes they want to try, and you can bet they make some of them work. Even when they take you in, it is hard to be angry with them, or begrudge them anything. They don't care what opinions others have of them. They know they are lucky, and they also know they have the ability to change things when convenience calls. Monkeys are virtually unsinkable! When the odds are stacked against them, Monkeys know when to quit. Their timing is superb, and they will wait to try another time. If you try to trick Monkeys, they will probably catch you. They never make a move without a plan. They are great strategists. They can spot an opportunity in any form. They never miss a trick!

Monkeys are hard workers once they have a piece of the action. The bigger the piece, the better they do. Monkeys like to travel, and they want to do it first class.They need a certain amount of excitement in their lives.

Since Monkeys get what they want without too much trouble, they may not care about all their conquests. They lose interest quickly and must learn to finish what they start and take care of what they have. People always flock around Monkeys,but Monkeys don't trust very much. They know a select group of friends that they choose carefully. Money is a must for Monkeys, and they usually have it, or will be in the process of getting it.They know nothing is permanent. They improve and try to do better, and often amaze even themselves. Monkeys like facts and they hateto waste time. Always remember, Monkeys don't care if you approve of them or not, and if not careful, you will be eating right out of their hands! They are the ultimate diplomats and slip in and out of difficulties with ease.

Monkeys must be careful in romance, although clear-sighted, they are very critical and lose interest in anyone they can't consider their peer.They are vain and egotistical,but even that is to their advantage.

Monkeys are always out in front!

Well most of it are right coz most of it are negative. Haha.

ingles

2006-08-09T15:36:00.000+08:00

Probably most of you are wondering why I'm using english in my blog. It so happened that I have foreign viewers. I really wanted to spill it out. Write in tagalog and say the words I used in everyday living. Potek ang hirap mag-pretend ha! Nagkakabulol bulol na nga ako. Hehehe. Anyhow, I still manage to write it well.

Hay buhay! Petiks na naman ako. Wala na naman magawa kaya eto nagpapakabobo ako. Nagkakalkal ng mga bagay-bagay na magpapa-abala sa akin. Lilipas na naman ang isang araw na walang katuturan. Sana lang dumami pa ang order ng ringtones. Pulubi na naman kami nito pag nagkataon. Ang hirap naman kasi nagpapakabayani ang ibang tao dito habang yung iba dyan nagwawaldas ng salapi na pinaghihirapan ng mga bayani dito. Balak ko na ngang ipagpatayo ng monumento ang ilan dito. Sana lang magising na ang punong abala. Abala saan? Ewan ko. Abala sa pagiging tanga nya at sunud-sunuran sa mga taong nagpapaikot sa kanya. Ah ewan ko sa kanila. Mga leche sila! Wala lang. Nakakapikon lang ang mga ganung tao. Parang asong sunud-sunuran sa iba. Parang walang utak. Akala ko pa naman matatalino sila. Wekwek. Pulbos ata laman ng utak o sadyang mabait lang talaga. Aahhh...shadap! Bahala kayo! Sana lang walang magpa-translate sa akin nitong entry na to.

Syasya. Balik trabaho!

Mood Status: frustrated
Music Playing: Simple Plan - Shut Up

blah

2006-08-08T19:20:00.000+08:00

It's been a calm day and I will be off soon. I'm not in the mood today. Is that because I haven't had a decent sleep from the past nights? Um. Russ just called and gave me a pep talk. This woman is crazy. I told her to jump off from the rooftop of RCBC building or get a knife and stab her chest. She's totally insane. Look who's talking. Haha. She was so desperate in getting with this cheap guy. Well, I told her to drop by in my place and I will personally kill her. Haha. I'll persuade her to drink to unleash her madness. Alak lang katapat nyan! Hehe.

Anyway, need to pack my things and get home. We will have a drinking session.

Syasya.

Mood Status: flirty
Music Playing: Tori Amos - Caught A Little Sneeze

shit stuffs

2006-08-07T16:28:00.000+08:00

It's Monday! Start of another hell week. I hurriedly woke up from bed this morning to catch up from the office's grace-period time. I've gotten a memo as a warning of excessive tardiness last month and I don't want to be suspended this month! Aww. Hope I have this promise not to break or I'll eat my hat. Pfft. As I pass by the mirror, I was surprised with my face having lots of pimples scattered around my pity cheeks. Huhuhu. I'm so ugly! I hate my face! I was like a disheveled alien from an unknown planet. =( Before I throw something onto the mirror I collected my bathe paraphernalia and went down to the bathroom. After an hour of beauty ritual, I sped off.

Well at the office nothing unusual happened so I better recount my rambles last weekend.

Hmn. I want to share the topic me and my friend Russ tackled. Last Friday I dropped by at their house. I arrived before her so I smoke while waiting. When she got home I dragged her outside the house and talked about nothingness. It's a girls' stuff so we decided to throw off outside so that Tita can't auscultate. She look disturbed so I told her to spill it out. I will just listen, comment and advise in the end. She have a big crush at work. This guy has a resemblance with the vocalist of the band Hale. If I'm not mistaken, Champ is the name. Of the vocalist. Not his officemate. The guy was married and had a child but she was pervert enough to continue sneaking with this guy. Okay, given that this guy is pretty "for her" and she admire him so much that she made herself stupid by having someone picture him or ask for a picture with dedication. That was doltish! An old school. Ew. Anyway, we can't teach our heart. Almost everyone are stupid in the name of love. Even the smartest person on earth when fell in love will make decisions that will look him/her stupid. I advised her to stay away from him before it's too late. I know it's hard but she must do it before she fall deeply. Why are the good and delicious guys are already taken?! Ang sarap MAGKASALA! Gademet! Anyhow, we parted ways with one conclusion. Avoid temptation! Whew.

When I got home, my mind was still populated by the things we talked about. I can relate to her story. I was in that situation before but did my best to elude sin. I learnt that the hard way.

On Sunday, I woke up too late and had my breakfast late. I did nothing. I just watched Tita Joy do her chores. At 12PM I went up my room and take a nap. I woke up 2PM. As I climb across the bed Paul came and pulled me to have lunch. We buy at the nearby carinderia, to Aling Ising. Our favorite eatery. Ahihihi. He was cursing as we walk. He called all the demons and devils on earth and threw it all to his colleagues. He was supposed to play badmintton and he invited me to join but his colleagues didn't come to the bar where he work so he insisted that it was cancelled. He never heard from them until morning when he gone home. When asleep he received a text message from these two morons detailing the what, where and when of their activity. He woke up past 2pm and called them back but weren't answering his calls. Maybe they are in the middle of the battle. Boo. So he decided to stay home. I was about to go with Tito Jer to stroll at Glorietta but he persuaded me not to come as it was too late and I'm not yet dressed and it will take me an hour to prepare so Tito Jer left me. =( I have no choice but to stay at home. I played with Lucas, their cute poodle pet dog. I never heard Lucas bark since the day he brought to Paul's house. At that moment as we play I made him bark and we were all surprised. Haha. I thought he's mute. Ahihihi. After watching The Buzz, Tita, Paul and I played word factory. After 5 rounds, Paul took a bath and prepare for his work. Tita and I left alone looking each other. When Tito Jer arrived we bought food for dinner.

That was my life at the boarding house. Too boring, isn't it?

Mood Status : Pfft
Music Playing: Jennifer Love Hewitt - Take My Heart Back

Here are some photos of Lucas.

moving on

2006-08-03T16:57:00.000+08:00

Wuhoooo! Finally the game is swinging by my side. I'm almost getting over the darkness of the past. I'm moving on. I'm becoming stronger and independent. I'm learning the virtue of patience and at ease of everything that comes my way. I'm focusing on what remains on me, forget what I lost and never regret my failures. Why would I keep on running to someone who doesn't appreciate me? Err. He doesn't know who's running up to him. I'll show him what he lost and he will be kicking his backside and he will crawl back to me. In the end I will be waving on him with an arched eyebrow and a devilish look...bwahaha. Instead, I will love and be considerate to others who are always on my side, through thick and thin, just always there loving me unconditionally.

Hmmn. I got over of yesterday's tedious work. Whew! That was a tough day. I have this client who requested to cut the original song to that of the same clip time of the poly. And I did it myself! I listened to the poly and find it to the full audio. There were 44 of them and it almost killed me. I feel like being raped. Whew! Anyhow, I feel happy because we're rich again! Hell yes!

I want to buy an iPod but I lack money. I don't even have savings. Pfft. How I wish I could get one to exterminate my boresome in my boarding house. I was desiring to buy a laptop before and now I can't even buy a nano iPod which soon will be phased-out from the market. I'm bankrupt! Huhuhu. All I have at home is my book that takes me a month in reading. Well FYI, it's Deception Point by Dan Brown. I love this author. His novels are full of suspense, twists, excitement that you will no longer keep your eyes off his books. I'm on part where US President Zach Herney announced to the world the discovery of NASA and having all Sexton's incriminations to this space agency back to his face. While her daughter Rachel Sexton is struggling for life at Milne Ice Shelf. Erm. It's a long run then. I'm hankering for Angels and Demons. A friend told me that it is more breath taking than that of The Da Vinci's Code.

That's all for today. Back to work.

Mood Status: cheerful
Music Playing: Avril Lavigne - Fall To Pieces

weekend ramblings

2006-07-31T19:05:00.000+08:00

The days are moving fast and me catching up, running fast, afraid to be left behind . It was just another day til the beautiful dawn faded and the earth looms slowly kissing good night. Ano daw? Shet! Ang lalim non!...hehehe...anyway here are my weekend ramblings. I snuck out just to post it. It's a busy day...the ringtone production is raging up again. It was a good news. :)

To forget the stupidity I made from the past days I persuaded Manette and the rest of the gang to go out last Friday night. According to the plan it was a girls' night out but the vampire joined us. Amongst the group were Rizza (the newly recruit), Vanessa, Manette, me and Norlan. I got off early dragging Rizza and Esa with me to dine, at that time all I feel was hunger. We left Manette and Norlan finishing their work. We gathered at Parasol, at the six and a half floor of Pacific Star Bldg. Ahihihi. We came first and ordered a bucket of beer. Rizza and Esa were excited singing so we grabbed the song book and picked songs. Rizza sang at her best the song Weak and ofcourse I chose the undying song of Freestyle, So Slow. Esa beautifully rendered the song Get Here which she dedicated to her Boholano suitor...ahihihi.

I was surprised when Sir Duke came up beside me, he joined us with his buddy then Norlan and Manette came with Russel's group. Finally the group were assembled...there you go a bunch of clowns and crying hearts. All you can hear were laughs and blastering voice of the singers. At that moment my loneliness drifted and pains that lie beneath my heart disappeared. We went home jolly singing at the middle of the road banging heads.

Hmmn..on Saturday I had my feet at the office very late...as usual. What do you expect? The good sun showed up for once but after having our lunch the dark clouds conquered the sky and heavy rain came. Gademet! I hate when it rains. I spent my time at the boarding house played word factory with my friends. I went home to Bulacan late evening.

Well on Sunday I treat my mother and sister. Take them out, eat and stroll at nearby mall. We bought karaoke CDs and sang at home. I missed bonding with my sister.

That's it.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Destiny's Child - Cater 2 U

haaayz

2006-07-27T18:52:00.000+08:00

Nothing unusual happened. Same ordinary boring day. I hate this time of the year...most of the places are flooded and it's giving me headache travelling eventhough it takes only one ride to get to my work...ahihihi. I'm wearing an elevated sandals again and it's hurting my feet...arrgh...my rubber shoes were borrowed by Russ and haven't been returned until now. Why there are people don't know how to return things they borrowed? Grrrrr.

I just saw Anne's blog and I envied it...ahihihi. This girl is so talented. Why did I say so? Coz' she's damn good in writing and designing her own blog. I hate her...haha...actually I envied her...hehe. I want to steal her design. Anne, can I? I like the penguin beside your mood status.

Well...that's it. Back to work.

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Brian McKnight - 6 8 12

Ssshh...I stole that status chuvanes from her...ahihihi.

slumber party

2006-07-24T14:43:00.000+08:00

July 26, 2006. That night was full of energy and fun. Iryl had her despedida dinner at Teriyaki Boy accross Pacific Star Building, our hangout. Amongst the group were Iryl, Amy, Ruben, Anne, Vanessa, Alben, Chadu, Philip, Manette, Norlan, Lhen and me. We limit our order to php 1,500 so we chose dishes that will fit to our budget. Vanessa with her precious phone do the computation while Ruben one-by-one uttering the price of dish he was picking at the menu. We're done computing and picking the food as the amount exceeded php 200. Hmmnn...who will pay it? A short silence filled the air avoiding looks to one another...haha.

As the food came, tropang jologs arrived with tiring looks and sitted at the joint-table next to us. The bunch of food were served on table...all you can see were extending arms left and right reaching what they craved for. Laughs and murmurs filled the surrounding...happy eating.

We left the resto with full stomach. Our next destination? Chadu's crib. Amy, Lhen, Iryl and Anne didn't come with their own personal reasons...pfft...so we waived goodbye and pushed to Chadu's place.

At the house, Philip and Manette directed to the kitchen started preparing the so-called pulutan. We made cheese sticks, sliced wrapped cheese. Norlan and Chadu went out to buy our drinks while Alben and Ruben that are so "helpful" plopped down on couch and watched television...grrrrrr. Were done wrapping the cheese so Manette fry it. I was curious with Philip opening the can of tuna and arranging the sliced tomatoes and minched onions on the table. Hmmn...what this man are going to do? I just watch him preparing that doodad sandwhich. He opened a pack of Skyflakes biscuit, spread the tuna over the surface and put the tomatoes as toppings. I asked him what he's going to do with the onion. He tapped his forehead cursing "Omigod...I forgot to mix it with tuna...grrrr". Ahihihi...It is better late than never so he mixed it with the tuna filling and started spreading again on next biscuit.

Hmmn...it looks delicious so I picked one and munch it...hehehe. While busy eating and preparing then came along Norlan and Chadu with tons of beer...whew...these guys are addicts. The slumber party began. The crazy Norlan dance and dance with his seductive moves...haha. Ruben can't take the moves so he made his own...haha. These men are crazy. Philip grabbed the guitar and start to strum songs that will kill you. He's a man of few words but he's wild when with his guitar. Manette and I sang while they are playing. Alben got the keyboard and Philip a guitar. We're surprised when Chadu pulled a stick of cigarette and lit it up. Woah...I can't believe it! He puff and puff while Ruben capture and capture photos of him while releasing smoke. Manette and I went out to smoke with Chadu catching up. We get serious. Our topic? Love. So many questions came out to my mouth. And both of them keep on answering and nodding. More nods til Ruben came out and joined us. Norlan followed him. Questions and answers were thrown to one another. When we noticed that we're almost out there and we're disturbing Chadu's neighbors we go back in and continue the discussion. Next topic? Love or lust? Pros and cons of premarital sex. Each of us has their own opinion. For me? I believe in long and happy relationship with solemn vow under God's grace. Hmmn...the room gets hotter as the debate gets hotter. Before we hurt each other...I demanded to go home coz it's getting too late.

Chadu, Norlan and Ejeck accompanied me, Alben and Ruben to get a cab while Philip waited for a bus. We get home safe and sound.

new face

2006-07-15T11:30:00.000+08:00

What do you think of my new design? I like the font coz I can read it better than the old one. I'm just thinking of the black banner...too strong I guess and minimal. Hmmn...more tweaking and I'm done. :)

random thoughts...

2006-07-10T20:23:00.000+08:00

I spent my week-end away from my family but with my caring friends. On Saturday, I slept the whole afternoon at the boarding house trying to gain energy lost from the whole week's work heft. I woke-up with darkness engulfing the sky. I took dinner with a friend. I'm feeling awful that night with sticky throat that's making me uncomfortable to swallow. I brought this feeling until Sunday morning with a hoarse voice. I risen from bed neglecting it. I need to be durable and do all my chores. I launder some of my clothes, wash the dishes and clean my room. After doing all those stuffs I pushed to Sta. Ana church to attend the six o' clock mass but before getting there I dropped by at the laundry shop leaving some of my used-to-wear clothes. After the mass I went to Amy's apartment to spend time as it was too early to go home and I have nothing to do at the boarding house...just staring up at the four corners of my room...dreaming. I had a great time watching movies and TV shows with Jayvee while Amy busy doing all her chores. I almost forgot the time when I check my watch it's already 9PM. Amy encouraged me to stay a few minutes then after that few minutes she told me to sleep over there which I think is reasonable since there's no one waiting for me at my crib.

At the office, I don't find myself busy as there were no orders for the first day of the week...too disappointing. I amuse myself surfing the net sending resume to other potential firms...hehehe. I've heard from a colleague bout this widespread online home-based data entry work system. You will only need a computer and an internet to work and it will only cut few minutes of your time. As I've heard, many Filipinos are into this business and the money is quite easy and fast. They would give you access on millions of online companies and each company will accept you as business affiliate. At that moment, a smart idea blinks to my mind counting the number of dollars that I would be gaining from it.

boring day

2006-07-06T19:18:00.000+08:00

Well well well...have not-that-much to do so I'm wasting my time amusing myself writing nothingness.

This morning, I hesitantly opened my eyes fishing my mobile to take a glance on the clock. It's already 7:30 AM so I hurriedly get up and went downstairs to check my soaked clothes. It's wash day! I hate this day but I have no choice. If you're away from your Mom, you need to learn things not included in your routine. I grabbed my gloves and a bar of soap. I'm using gloves when washing to prevent my hands from irritation. It's sound chary but I prefer to be think of that than to have wrinkled hands as my friend bully me everytime he saw my pity small hands. My eyes opened wide when I saw one of my shirt been discolored. Omigod...I just bought this pretty shirt last Sunday and now I can no longer wear it...arrrgh...I hate myself. I finished laundering at 9:30 PM...too late for my preparation to the office. I took a bath. Cleaned every tiny part of my body. Dressed and vamoose.

I arrived to the office jammed up...counting the minutes I've been tardy for the whole week...fearing to be penalize when I exceeded 120 minutes for this month...waaaahhh.

I've checked my emails. No ringtone order for this week. I just thought the boat will soon gonna sink so I better be wise and grab a life vest. Working here is like survival of the fittest. You need to play smart to fit in. Somehow, I find happiness staying here although fed up of the usual stuffs I'm dealing.

The clock ticks fast. Need to go now....til tomorrow. :)

new beginning

2006-07-05T16:35:00.000+08:00

My horoscope for today awakes me, realizing the things just happened these past few days. I couldn't imagine it. Am I still dreaming? I cannot make myself believe with this fast episode of my life. Having been alone for my damn whole life...fooling around...waiting for what tomorrow may bring. Yes, this new beginning fully turned down the familiar path I'm running before but still unsure of surprises that may come. I don't know what's holding me back from the past. I'm confused and afraid but then happy. So happy. I guess, I'll just take the advice my friend gave me...go with it and enjoy it.

superman returns

2006-07-04T15:30:00.000+08:00

Finally I had watched the most awaiting movie of the year, Superman Returns. I'm not a huge fan of Superman compared to my sister who bought every single item of it. Pfft...she even wanted to buy a cake yesterday to complete her collection...so pathetic. Anyway, we had our feet at nearby SM to watch it. We were too excited as we enter the mall hearing its theme song. I almost drag her to the ticketbooth...hahaha.

It was too crowded inside the theater and all you can hear were giggling of kids waiting for their superhero and crying of babies scared in the dark place. The noise and blocking heads of people didn't matter to us, we were gaping at the big screen like kids waiting for the opening of presents under the christmas tree.

Bryan Singer reborn the man of steel with the touch of new age but still replicates the tradtional superhero we knew but I'm a bit disappointed coz it was more on romance. He missed the action that I was expecting. It would be more exciting if Lex Luthor created a villain for him. I was waiting on that part when Lex's group dropped a part of the crystal onto water, a miniature of the whole city. After a minute it starts to rave like Godzilla sputtering out of it then the power constantly fading out until total black out to the whole city. My eyes were riveted on the raving water waiting for a creature to raise from it but I saw nothing. One more thing, I was waiting for his son to use more power but he did it only once. I thought it is his son who will save him from drowning, let's say he was the one who saw superman drowning by pointing it to Lois, he still saved him...haha...but my concern is the use of his powers...hehe.

Anyway, the visual effects were astounding and expensive but it did impressed all the viewers. Brandon Routh was so adorable playing the role of Superman. He's really an Adonis...I want to take him home...haha.

Although quite dismayed, we left the movie house with a smile...having seen superman soar again.

it really pissed me

2006-06-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

This unwanted incident happened last Wednesday at the office specifically 7:30 in the evening. Me, Alben and our subordinate had an argument. The occurence started when she messaged me asking if we can deliver the tones she was formatting at that moment on Friday, supposed she will take a leave on Thursday. I answered her uncertain, because it is urgently needed by the client on Thursday. I can feel madness from her messages, she stated that she was not a robot so I asked her if I need to explain. She insisted that my explanation is no use...it's her job and she need to finish it. After what she said that unnerves me I demanded a meeting to clear things as I can smell misconception. She refused my request and she shouted exiting, turning her back on me. I don't want to write detailed lines she said to exaggerate things. I approached Alben so we can hold a meeting regarding what happened, explaining my side of rushing the tones on that day. Proceeding to the Conference Room we bumped into her at the reception area demanding her to go with us to discuss things. When sitted, she keeps on yelling on us that she was fed up doing all the formatting stuffs that she can no longer continue it and her head was aching due to others bothering her asking questions regarding formatting. We listened to her silently absorbing all her rants. I feel insulted as she hoots on us. I still managed to lower my voice and explained calmly to her my discernments.

Since Monday, I keep on reminding her that she will work over time on Wednesday due to huge order of MM with complicated formats. The total number of tones is 38. Last Tuesday, I gave her the first batch of it with 10 titles. I directed the arrangers to take home the 11 remaining songs for sequencing so the files would be ready for formatting on Wednesday morning. I gave her only 28 tones to format for the whole day. She pried a leave on Thursday so I rushed the arrangers to make the files due on Thursday on that day so she can format it and deliver. I tried my best to negotiate the delivery date to the client but they insisted to have it delivered by Thursday as they need the tones urgently. So I pushed her to finish the three tones for delivery on Thursday. Yes, there are other formatters who can do it by Thursday but I presumed that she can manage to finish it since I gave not-that-much load to her. Her attitude was so annoying when I'm explaining to her. She barked that she cannot finish the job as she was tired enough to do it and keeps on saying "What if I'm not here...who will do the formatting??...you do not even allow me to take a leave...blah blah blah" and all those stuffs. On that moment I forgot to learn the virtue of patience and told her to finish what she can do and get off as she said she was too tired. The meeting ended and we directed to our respective terminals. She banked the data she finished, packed her things and sped off.

This happening really pissed me. The blood ran over my head and felt uneasiness to breathe. If you were on my shoe...what would you do???

night life

2006-06-28T20:32:00.000+08:00

June 24, 2006. We hangout at Bela Bar and watched our colleagues' gig. They were cool and they really rock!

Me and my buddy arrived there past 10PM. Although haven't yet recovered on my past sleepless nights, we pushed to Greenhills and bump into our cronies. The diminutive bar was crowded by youngsters who in life never experienced poverty. As we enter we can hear blatant noise from the inside. Neil, the leader of the Nimbus Crowd band was busy adjusting the audio mixer while some of his members were fine tuning their instruments. We grabbed chairs and start gaping at the busy musicians. After a few mins of tuning, they start to rock. They played pretty well and their compositions are quite good but I'm not into that genre. I am more sentimental but still depending on the mood. If I feel mad, I listen to hard rock songs. If lonesome, I'll go for sentimental music.

I only drunk half bottle of San Mig light. I'm not in the mood to drink that moment. I'm consious with the people around me. We planned to go to Goyong's place but the latter was so drank and can no longer manage to accommodate us so we opted to stay at the bar, rocking. Meekness is the great virtue Philip possess. He sitted silently beside us throwing simple smiles and grins. Bola is total opposite of Philip with his big mouth...haha...but he amused me, he's funny and he's a good singer. He really rocks!

I was suffocated by the smoke of cigarettes inside so I pulled Manette and demanded to breathe outside the bar. A group of boys accompanied us, friends of Philip. They were cute, funny and friendly. We wasn't able to memorize their names. I remember the one guy with resemblance to Kimpee De Leon (local artist) and Paul (our colleague) bragged "Audrey and Manette right? Alam namin pangalan nyo. E kami alam nyo ba pangalan namin?". We just laughed back and grinned "Hinde!". All the nothingness chit-chat and laughters...blah blah blah.

When felt tired and sleepy I demanded to went home. I dragged my buddy out of the bar with our guy friends accompanying us to take a cab. We reached the house safe and sound and went to bed with giggles talking bout what happened the whole night.

so wasted

2006-06-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

Haven't had a good sleep these past few days that's why I feel so wasted today. Bulging eyes and shaking body. Smoking makes it more complicated but I can't resist it. I dunno, I feel addicted with it. FYI, I'm not really a smoker. I just learned it by myself when feelin' alone and have nothing to do. When home alone, I drink and smoke. I'm a bad girl now. Yes, I am. I just told Lhen that cigarettes make my breath malodorous. She shouted back like a bombshell "Quit smoking! You're not a smoker before! If you're just doing that to outstand then stop it." I fired her back "I can't resist it and I'm not smoking just for popularity. I'm famous. Duh!". And we both laughed.

I checked my cellphone and received five missed calls from Dems. I went down to call her back. Thank God nothing bad happened. I miss this fella. She's my buddy back on but now we're miles away. I owe her a lot and until now I'm begging her for help with this laptop.

Pfft....I really can't help it. I want to go home, pack my things and take a rest. I'm still adjusting my lifestyle with my new home, new bed with hard mattress and new neighbors. I'll be home with my full stomach and will lay my body "again" on that exasperating mattress. Wish I could buy a new one. Will you? hekhek...

new address

2006-06-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

I just moved yesterday to my new crib at Sta. Ana, Manila. Me and my sister arrived there afternoon to dirt-off the room and arrange my stuffs. We're overwhelmed by the warm welcome of my new neighbors. They were very accommodating and helpful. Kuya Rolly stretched his hands putting up my fan and screwed my mirror. Tita handed me enough tools for cleaning. After cleaning we moved to Paco to buy some things that I need. Then came along Russ to looked-up and eat the special Pesto Paul prepared. It's really good with simple ingredients:pasta, olive oil, tuna and basil leaves. They went up to my bedroom and start messing and ruining my things, I hate them...hehe.

Well..all things went right according to what I wanted. =)

All By Myself

2006-06-13T16:17:00.000+08:00

The rain poured heavily last night. I prayed for it.

The mass ended, me and my sister go for a spin. A huge drop of water from heaven hit my forehead. I looked at the sky and felt the remaining drops on my face and body. I told my sister to drive faster before we get home drenched. We're unlucky enough to avoid it and it rigorously attacked us. The heaven is crying hard sympathizing to my breaking heart. I find myself humming the song "All By Myself" as popularized by Celine Dion. As of this moment I can relate to this song..."all by myself...don't wanna be...all by myself anymore". I always have this feeling of emptiness...as if my mind and soul are floating and go to wherever the wind blows.

My bestfriend is with his girl again. they're back to each other's arms. So goodbye Saturday gimmicks...goodbye sweet days...goodbye texting...goodbye phoning...goodbye bestfriend. Anyhow, I'm still happy for him. He retrieved the happiness that once stolen to him...who?..I don't know...ask him...hehehe.

I always ask him if there's a problem coz I can see on his face the emptiness and loneliness of his heart. Although he refuses to confess it, I do my best to keep him smiling. We go out on our free days, watch movies, dine, we plop down on parks and start spouting off nothingness. Share dreams and ambitions. We fool around. I can still remember, inside Glorietta mall, outside Mark Spencer boutique while waiting for our colleague shopping inside, we play a game. We picked a line as a marker. Everyone who crossed that line with his/her right-foot stepping forward, I'll pinch him, and with the left-foot, he'll pinch me. We end up counting the numbers of feet crossing the line. What a silly game.

I stopped reminiscing, seeing my sister looking utterly to me with her eyes asking "what's the problem?". I focused my attention on somewhere else preventing her. Empathy is such a cheap and common virtue. I turned on the television, looked for some program that can amuse me. I startled speaking about my transfer to Sta. Ana. On Sunday, I will be moving to Sta. Ana, Manila. Start living alone. Feed and shelter myself. I am not used to it. I am dependent with the people around me. My Mom washing my clothes and cooking my food. My sister who's always on my side eagerly listening to my unusual-experience stories. My bestfriend comforting and caring me. My officemates making me laugh to complete my day. Somehow, I realized, living alone is quite exciting. No curfew, make decisions on your own, do what you want. I can smoke anytime...haha.

I slept leaving everything in my head hanging, hoping for the promises of tomorrow.

blah blah blah

2006-06-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

Here I am again. I shouldn't be doing this...I should be working, looking for potential clients as our boss pushed us to do so. I hate it but I have no choice. I must do it. I'm not a graduate of marketing degree for God's sake. Why am I stuck in a world far from what I've dreamed of? My career here at you-know-where-I'm-working-for-a-living is in peril. Few of my colleagues plan to step down from the company this month, searching for more growth in other firms. For a moment it crossed my mind...look for a new career...as if I have...haha...but not here...I'm planning to work outside the country. I don't know what luck is waiting for me there. Baka maging hollywood star ako...haha!

I'll just take a break...smoke and have a chit-chat with Manette.

acknowledgement

2006-06-07T18:13:00.000+08:00

Yahoooo! Many thanks to Anne and to her accomplice...they made my blogsite prettier. I am not in the mood to customize it or I'm just stupid with regards to tweaking. I say so, 'coz my friendster blog is a junk. It's unpretty! Ugly! The color is too pale...I guess it reflects on my mood. I'm downcast when I made that. Same as today, I feel sick. I want to get off early.

I got on bed today with swelling throat and hoarse voice. I don't know from who the hell I got this virus that's making me ill. I want somebody to cuddle me. Paksyet! How I wish I have a boyfriend who will cuddle me if I'm sick, depressed, low-spirited or kinda horny...haha...just kidding.

Somehow, I felt so blessed because I have my friends and family who love me unconditionally...charing!!! =)

welcome me

2006-06-07T15:15:00.000+08:00

Wuhooo...Finally, I have my new blogsite and I'll stick with it but still the blog I've started on Friendster will still be updated. So keep on visiting it.